The Ex Friend With Benefits.(girlxgirl)

Confessions

~Flashback~

JAYDEN POV

If I should not do what I am about to, God, please come take me away from this door.

On my way over here I asked God to not let Isabel be home when I got here if I wasn't supposed to confess. Only when I showed up her car was parked in the driveway. So much for homosexuality being a sin. Then again there was free will, he was just letting me do this after all. For someone about to commit a complete sin, an abomination according to most people I decided to pray, just to stall and maybe give God time to send a message. The connection was probably slow.

I chuckled at my reasoning going through with what should've been a short pray but took about five minutes. I gripped the bag in my hand tightly which crinkled the bag. I opened my eyes staring unmoving at the door. What was I doing loitering around like some weirdo. If anyone passed by the would be worried. My heart was racing so fast. It's like I'm a race horse after a race.

"Jayden, what the hell are you doing lingering out there?" My heart dropped when the door swung open. Isabel  freshly showered. I cursed myself, if I'd been half an hour earlier I would've missed her. "I thought I heard someone shuffling when I came down to lock the door." I stared at her, hair damp, with a towel wrapped around her hair. A t-shirt that looked all to familiar, it was my t-shirt from a week ago and some booty shorts. How did she look so good with so little effort? Isabel was truly a gorgeous woman.

After ogling Isabel for a couple of seconds, I stopped when I spotted her slight blush across her cheeks, yet she had a playful smirk on her face as she open the door for me, walking away into the house. I walked in shutting the door and locking it, I fumbled with the lock nervously however. By the time I looked back Isabel was on the couch. I needed to stop this shaking soon. I slipped my shoes off. I didn't know it would be this hard to confess. I glanced at the bag.

I managed to take some breaths to calm myself, though my palms were still sweaty and hands would not stop shaking. I gulped walking in and sitting on the same couch as Isabel only all the way to the other side, out of the corner of my eyes I could spot her giving me an odd look, as her brows raised. Her eyes then shifted to the bag in my lap.

I cleared my throat a trying to start a casual conversation, "So how was your day?" I asked not daring to look at her again. I was on the verge of a meltdown. The bag was soiled just a little with my sweat. I must look like I'm losing it with the slight shaking, distant and uncomfortable shifting. I was so out of it that I couldn't bring myself to sit back on the couch. I was sitting on the edge while my leg bounced and tapped lightly on the carpeted floor.

I stiffened like a board when Isabel shifted over touching my thigh, my breath hitched in my throat, "Jay," she whispered softly to me rubbing my leg. Oddly enough it was relaxing. Having her close like this relaxed my body but my heart was still in overdrive. "Hey, are you okay?" She asked and I nodded stiffly. "Okay well what's going on? Why'd you come over?" I swallowed hard but didn't respond. Isabel cupped my face in one hand making me face her. Her free hand going to my forehead to check my temperature. "Did you do some weird new drug?" she asked examining my eyes, "I know you're in college and all but Jayden it's dangerous. You-" The smile on my face probably threw her off. A small smiled slowly tugged its way on her lips.

"I haven't been doing drugs." I said lowly, my head now resting in her hand, and my eyes shut as her thumb caressed my cheek, "You don't need to worry about me doing any type of drugs." I mumbled, almost totally relaxed, ever my heart slowed to a more calm pace. "I missed you." The words slipped out before I could stop them. I peaked an eye open to glimpse a wide-eyed Isabel. "I'm sorry, I -"