The Ex Friend With Benefits.(girlxgirl)

Phone Number

ISABEL'S POV

My phone was on the counter top as I cooked. My sister-in-laws voice filled the room, detailing every step of an upcoming event. From the moment I stepped out my door to when I returned, she left no detail unexplained. She had even sent a list in point form just before calling, claiming it was a summary to keep me on track. However, these points were more like paragraphs, and I felt overwhelmed by the sheer amount of detail for what should have been a simple, insignificant date. I would only be a few hours. Or just one to be honest.

I now dreaded this fake date and I dreaded taking Meghan's advice. If I had known it would be so complicated, I would have declined. But now, I was in too deep, and the date was set to happen in just a few hours.

Ever since the idea of this date came up on David's birthday, an eerie feeling had settled in the pit of my stomach. Something inside me urged me to turn back, especially since Jayden had recently expressed genuine interest in giving us a shot. But I couldn't bring myself to refuse Meghan's help. After all, she had always come through for me, even though her advice often led to some rocky moments along the way.

My gut and everything else inside of me was playing tug of war, "Meghan, I don't think I should do this. I know she was being honest this time. She won't go back to him. We don't have to do all of this," I began, but she interrupted me.

"Isabel, trust me, this will work. After this, she'll be completely infatuated with you," Meghan assured me with a hint of excitement in her voice. "Just have faith in the plan. It has a track record of success with my clients."

"But what if I hurt her? I know Jayden. She has never hurt me intentionally before. She even apologized. She said she would wait for my answer." I sighed out and before she could say anything I continued, "Listen Meghan. I know Jayden. She's changed I've changed too but one thing remain. We still have feelings for each other. Jayden is coming along. I don't want to hurt her. Her reaction that night wasn't like her, she didn't yell or anything..." I gulped a little, "It looked like she gave up on a little." Of course Jayden would never admit it but it shows in her eyes. They I could see her faith flicker in us dwindling.

Meghan sighed, clearly understanding my concerns. "Listen, this plan isn't meant to hurt her. it's just to show her that you also have options. This plan is just to solidify her feelings for you. Nothing more nothing less. We are just ensuring she doesn't make the same mistake again."

 I mulled over Meghan's words, but something still didn't sit right with me. I didn't want to say yes to Jayden just yet, fearing that she might retreat again. I wanted her to understand the fear of losing me, to feel what I had felt so many times due to Kyle's actions. I longed for her to be open, honest, and vulnerable with me, just as she had been in my office. However, my own fear held me back. I was afraid of giving myself fully to her and being left alone once again.

The biggest obstacle in my mind was Dana. How could I move past that and explain it to Jayden? What if things went well initially, only for her to turn out like Dana? Would every relationship I pursued end up like my last? I needed that therapy session and a way to rebuild myself.

"Isabel?" Meghan's concerned voice brought me back to the present, and a wave of determination washed over me. I shook my head, dispelling any lingering self-doubt.  "If you really don't want to, I'll cancel."

I spoke up resolutely, "No, I'm going. But instead of a date with you friend, can I have a therapy session instead? I need it, both for myself and for my future relationships."

I no longer felt guilt and self-conscious. I needed to show Jayden that I was not a doormat and that I wouldn't let her or anyone walk all over me. I had been a push over allowing, allowing my care and love for someone to overshadow my own needs and desires. I was determined restore myself into the person I was before the abuse and mistreatment. I was going to be better and I was going to make sure I wasn't scared of living my life the way I wanted too.