Taste of Sanity (Seven Deadly Sinners #4)

Chapter 36

IT IS extremely heart-wrenching.

Andrew is currently standing in front of Claire's grave with the shadow of hell latched onto him. Ni hindi niya magawang maiyak dahil wala siyang maramdaman. Walang kabuhay-buhay ang itsura nito, na tila sumama rin sa pagkamatay ng mag-ina niya. He feels infinite nothingness that destroyed the last thread of hope that he has. He lost, not only a friend, a lover, but he lost his child as well.

Wala siya sa sarili niya habang sariwa pa ang mga sugat sa katawan. He lost an eye, and there's nothing hurts more than the pain in his heart. It is more painful than the physical pain he felt. Hindi niya magawang ipaliwanag ang sakit dahil bago lang sa kan'ya ito.

It is the pain that made him scream in so much agony, and a pain that will never be able to heal.

He lost his best friend and lover.

He lost... his happiness. Nawala sa kan'ya ang mga inosenteng buhay na pinapahalagahan niya, at hindi niya na alam kung paano babangon ulit. Hindi siya makausap ng mga magulang niya at palagi lang na nasa sementeryo.

Mrs. Orozco, Claire's mother, lost her sanity. She was brought to a mental institution because of so much trauma for losing her only child. While her husband, Mr. Orozco, is in the dark, hiding from the wrath of the Commander.

Ni hindi niya man lang nagawang aminin ang nararamdaman kay Claire. Kung alam niya lang na iyon ang huling beses na makikita niya ito, ay sana sinulit niya na ang sandali. Kung gaano siya kabilis pinasaya ng mga sandaling nakasama niya ito, ay gano'n din ito kabilis na kinuha sa kan'ya. He lost the chance to confess his unsaid love for the latter.

He loves her more than anyone else, but did not have the courage to confess. And, now, he regrets everything that has happened. Kung pwede niya lang mabawi ang panahon ay hindi siya magdadalawang isip para gawin iyon. He will definitely confess, and take care of her even more.

Kung sana lang ay naging matapang siya sa pag-amin, ano kaya sila ngayon? And his unborn child... his own flesh and blood...

They took their innocent lives.

"I'm sorry, Claire." Paumanhin nito habang nangingilid ang luha sa mga mata. "I'm sorry, baby. Papa isn't a good father. Papa wasn't able to keep you and your mama. I-I'm so sorry..." Sa wakas ay tumulo na rin ang mga luhang matagal na niyang pinipigilan. "I-I'm sorry. F-Forgive me." He fell on his knees. Napayuko siya habang patuloy ang pag-agos ng luha.

The torment inside his heart and soul is incomparable. How can he live another day again, if he cannot look forward to see Claire's bright smile?

He shut his eyes close and gripped the grass hard in his hand. He sobbed like a lost child, and he cannot accept the bitter truth that she's gone... and will never come back. Hindi na babalik si Claire. Hindi na mabubuhay ang anak nila. Hindi na mabubuo ang pamilya nila. Hindi na.

"I-I'm sorry. Kasalanan ko. I was weak. I'm sorry..." He held his chest as the pain continuously destroy him.

He now finally understood the meaning of pain.

And, the same goes for Evion who lost the very reason why she chose to live. She lost the faint light of her Star, and she's now walking into the infinite darkness that gladly embraced her.

Hindi na siya nag-abalang bumaba ng kotse at pinanood lang si Andrew na tumayo sa tapat ng puntod ng kaibigan nila. Huminga siya nang malalim at nakita ang makulimlim na kalangitan na sumasabay sa pagluluksa nila.

Masyadong madilim at tila may nagbabadyang ulan. Ilang araw na ang nakalipas nang mailibing ito ngunit hindi pa rin matanggap ni Andrew ang nangyari. He never left the grave.