Red Roses and Black Crows

Poem 15 - The remedy to your poison (PRV1)

I roamed the streets lifeless
I was a bird locked in its cage
With no choice only to live each day
I lived with my poker face
A smile my face couldn't embrace

No matter how hard I tried
People looked at me and thought I'm fine
Life was a stereotype

Every day I go to school, to the place I hate
Where they judge me for every little mistake
I locked my feelings in a treasure box
Full of tiny little locks
And I couldn't reach happiness

My teacher kept calling me weak
She turned me into something less
Her behavior caused me to be a mess

I suffered from anxiety, I was discriminated
I was called frail each day
I was treated less than many more

Hearing these little words I believed
Others feelings have more value than mine
So treat me as you wish, the fault will always be mine

I am something less
I thought I could not love, my heart was a stone
I was a skeleton consisting of cold bones
Always alone in my thoughts and mind

Suffering from anxiety, unable to talk to anyone
Who would even love me?
And as I write my heart bleeds
Why did you get to treat me like this?

No matter how hard I tried
True happiness wasn't meant for me
I was suffering from anxiety
A quiet, calm person, constantly having a poker face
Why would anyone think there's something wrong?

And yet I walked the incorrect paths all along
The path they chose for me wasn't the path
I was meant to take
They say fake it till you make it
But they set my future ahead of me

I am worse because I am weak
I have to be with the stronger ones
What caused you to call me this
If you didn't understand or know me?

Just because you didn't like me
You decided to make my life a burning hell
My school is a prison cell
However, I am not the one you knew
You messed me up with a burning passion

And now it's time you rot in flames
I hate you with a burning passion
You are the one who shouldn't teach
You never got justice for your actions

You broke some of us, destined us to fail
Destined us to not believe in ourselves
You're the one who led me on the wrong path
It's your doing my self-esteem was so low

Now I am stronger, I was never frail
You messed me up, abused me till I was nothing
And nobody dared to say a thing
If you're a child, how do you know what's right and not?

I doubt you even regret you're actions
I will never forgive you, you two-faced liar
I don't understand why you got hired
As I write this my heart bleeds with pain
Remembering those times
And what you took from me

Only because I was different
You decided I was worse than others
You've not ever shown remorse
When I said it right, you corrected me incorrectly

I want to make you suffer like you made me
You enjoy taking control, don't you?
Well, that's too bad all it could take
Is if I reveal everything you've done in detail
Perhaps then your career will be over.

You turned me into a numb dull bird locked in its cell
You turned my school into a prison of insecurity
And you let others feed on me

You're rotten inside I hope you decay
If you die I would do nothing but celebrate
But you deserve a fate worse than death
You deserve to go through what you made me.