SA PAG-UGNAY (Soul Ties 2)

Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

RYAN NICKOLAS

Fire lit my face up as I burned the sketchpad to ashes.

Tumungo pa ako sa penthouse ni Cleo kung saan may customized fire pit siyang nakatabi lang dito. Hindi naman kasi ako pwedeng basta nalang magsunog sa loob ng unit ko dahil maaalarma ang buong tower sa oras na gawin ko 'yon.

I watched the paper of the past turned into dark unidentifiable ashes. I envision the smoke of the burning paper as my memories intact with it. How it had been eaten by the fire and was slowly consumed by it. Until everything will just vanish into thin air in the end.

I realized nothing really matters anymore. Dahil kahit anong gawin natin, hindi naman natin makukuha at mahahawakan ang usok. Nasunog na sila, nasa nakaraan na, hindi na mababalikan, hindi na mababalik sa dating anyo.

There are things, people--perhaps, that are meant to be a smoke of the past. May usok dahil may apoy ng dating pinagsamahan. Pero pagkatapos ng apoy ay abo—pruweba ng nakaraan.

Nakaraan na wala ng ibang pwedeng gawin kung hindi ang alalahanin nalang. Abo na isasabuy sa lupa ng pagkatao ko na siyang humulma sa akin kung sino ako ngayon.

Holding on the past just make me almost lose a very important part of me in the present.

You really cannot hold on to two things, you must let go the other one because if you insist of keeping them both, not only you'd lose the thing you already lost from the past, but you'd also lose the only one in the present as well. Hence, you will only fall apart of trying to keep both.

Nang tuluyan ng masunog ang sketchpad ay tinipon ko ang abo noon upang ilagay sa maliit na bote.

"So if you must let go, let go all at once," Cleo quoted. "Do not prolong the agony of slowly losing them when you already lost them. Hinahawakan mo nalang 'yung bagay na matagal ng hindi iyo."

We are suddenly sharing our thoughts about our experiences from the past.

I sighed and nodded with a smile, agreeing with what he said. Letting go was fucking hard.

Pero kung masasaktan ka, gawin mo nalang isang bagsakan. Tapos usad ulit.

"Valid naman 'yung mamiss mo 'yong nakaraan," I stated. "When you're feeling nostalgia of the past, it's because your brain is tricking you to be. Madalas kasi sabihin ng iba na tatawanan mo nalang daw 'yung nakaraan pagkalipas. And that will make you romantize the past, kahit na alam mong ayaw mo nang bumalik sa ganoong sitwasyon."

Cleo chuckled. "It's the memories that you missed, not the person that was part of it."

I nodded with a sigh.

"We tend to romanticize the past and memories. We pick the good ones and say it was good old days," I seconded. "But it also means that we were finally healed you know,"

Parehas kaming napangisi sa isa't isa.

"Because we can finally talk about it and remember them without feeling a crack opening in our chests..." I added.

"Oo nga, ano?" nagugulat niyang wika habang natatawa. "Nung nakaraan parang ang pait ng bawat salita tuwing nag-uusap tayo tungkol dito. Ngayon... ang gaan nalang."

I smirked. Parang ang sarap pag-usapan 'to habang umiinom, ah?

Dahil napasarap na ang usapan namin ay kumuha na kami ng alak habang tuloy sa kwentuhan.

"Pero nagsisisi ka sa nakaraan?" I asked.

Umiling siya at nilunok ang iniinom.

"I had the time of my life with Haniya too. It's still worth it, you know? Kasi binigyan niya ako ng chance na maging parte ng buhay niya. I'm still thankful..."