𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐝...

Chapter Four

My best friend, Lewis, lil dawg, Lewis Charles, passed away last year. Survival guilt crippled me, I've always thought why him? Why not me? He's a good person, better human than I am and didn't deserve it. Lewis was a drug addict since the age of nine, he started small by; misusing prescription medication, his dad's beer, or sometimes strong alcohol. I didn't know him until we were 14, I walked in on his body laying on the ground, with no heartbeat, and I knew he overdosed but luckily I saved him just in time and after that, he never touched drugs again. But when Lewis moved back to the States, after a while he was found dead in a mall parking lot, alone. It didn't kill me, but something died in me that day.

I thought of him when I saw Matthew for the first time, if he was still here with us and got to his mid-20s he would look like him, my heart skipped a beat thinking of how it would be if he was still here. But I needed to focus on my life now, and the people that depended on me.

"Okay, here's how it goes. Moms get your kids inside Trolley, choose one place for y'all to change the kids and when you're done do what you need to do. I need Abdullah Khalid and Uncle Yousef to cover the women and kids. Fawaz, Mohammad, Hamood, Abood, and Ali Khaled go inside Trolley and find water, food that is gonna last a while, a first-aid kit or collect stuff that would work as a first-aid, gasoline and a bunch of lighters... in that specific order, spread out and each takes a task to finish quicker. Everybody else? You can walk, stretch your legs, do whatever, BUT... please be as quiet as possible. We don't want walkers to come around us when we're vulnerable, okay?" I declared and everyone looked at the soldiers, I turned to Alexander and he nodded at me and turned to the people in the cars, "don't you look at me! She's the boss now, do what she said" He announced, and everyone got out of the cars and did what they were asked.

As the rest of the crew, stepped outside I was caught off guard by Haya jumping to hug me, and when I realized I held her tight. "I thought I'd never see you again" I squawked, "never, especially when God put you in our way to save us" She whispered, "I love you but my heart is somewhere else, it's been two days!" I backed up, "oh really? Bitch...fuck you" Haya blurted and it made me laugh, "I need my baby like...NOW" I continued. I went with Haya to their cars, said hello to her parents and siblings, and then took her little sister, Ameera, my baby, and just overwhelmed the poor thing with kisses and hugs and spun her around. I took Ameera to meet the other kids inside with her mom and introduced her to everyone.

I walked outside to find the soldiers standing together and guarding the perimeter, I pulled my M4 and started walking toward them. They turned to see who it is and James and Matthew's faces melted at something behind me, I turned to see Ameera following me and when I turned back at them they were already walking toward her. "Can we hold her? Pleaseee" James mimicked a baby crying sound, I nodded shaking my head and standing next to Alexander.

Matthew and James were playing with Ameera while me and Alexander were looking at the desert in front of us, staring at absolutely nothing for miles but sand and a long ass road ahead of us. I keep turning back to see Matthew act like a baby to make the little girl laugh and James dancing with her, but she keeps turning to Matthew and laughing at him all cutely and stretching her arms towards him as if she wanted him to hold her not James.

And it all came back to me like a hurricane.

Ameera has been around Lewis all her life, and Lewis loved her with all his heart even when he knows she doesn't recognize him at all cause she's just a three-year-old baby, she barely knows me then, "I don't care one day when I have a beautiful daughter, Imma name her Ameera" He used to say chuckling softly as he swayed her around.