CHAPTER 52: Loop

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Two Days Later_________________

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Two Days Later
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It was not a dream.

It was real.

It really happened.

It wasn't just a nightmare, she wanted it to be.

Instead she now had to live in a nightmare turned reality.

She was in pain.

Her body ached, her mind was in a daze her heart was scattered in a thousand inconsolable pieces.

She had lost so much in such a little time. Wasn't she supposed to be used to it by now? The pain, the terrors, the trauma? She couldn't afford to fall apart, she shouldn't mourn. The mercy she got was infinitely more than most people that stood against Bangtan.

These boys could burn the world for less offenses than hers, yet because she was considered family, she got off easy.

Ashley sat up at the edge of her bed. She was in the new bedroom occupying the back office of the Serpents' main hangout, since that was were apparently she slept now. KD was still out of it after two long nights of helping her hold her shit together. She still wondered how long she would be able to remain calm.

Yes KD was helping her.

But he could only do so much.

She was the Serpent Queen again, she had more power to affect change than she ever did before and from a very young age she had known everything there is to know about running the gang she now was leading. Although she hated to admit it m, truth was Namjoon has been most helpful in that department. Her father never really liked the idea of his precious little daughter leading the gang. Ashley despised that and with Namjoon's help had gathered the support needed from some of the Serpent seniors to be considered as Serpent Queen. That was too many years ago. Ashley had never thought she'd put his lessons to use years after as the sole leader of the Serpents.

Namjoon.

Her thoughts never stopped running to him. She never stopped loving him. She never even tried.

His reaction puzzled her.

He was uncharacteristically controlled.

He even allowed three days to say goodbye to KD.

Allowed.

She despised that.

He looked at the man still soundly asleep. She wondered what it was she felt for him. She clearly loved him a lot, she even had good quality sex and some stimulating conversations with him. He gave her everything a healthy relationship included yet he was not what every molecule in her body desired.

Because he wasn't Namjoon.

Maybe she was so far invested in her toxic relationship with him that she found the healthy, pure love KD offered her too suspicious or even boring.

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