Fanmade|TK

nine

JUNGKOOK

I almost fell asleep, totally blended out my surrounding, as slumber finally dragged me with it. After all the emotions that flowed through me throughout the whole past days, the rollercoaster Taehyung and I had gone through, I needed that rest.

I didn't expect the rollercoaster to offer another looping.

Half asleep, I noticed Taehyung moving closer to me, which I know he does sometimes, especially since he can't sleep without hugging something or someone. But this time it wasn't that.

This time, I felt something warm on my lips, which caused me to open my eyes widely in shock. My heart stopped beating the moment I realized what was happening.

Taehyung... kiss?

Instead of my body rejecting it, I suddenly relaxed, not intention of backing away or pushing him away visible, although I knew that was what I should have done. My mind kept telling me no, but deep down, I wanted it, craved more.

So when I noticed he wanted to leave it by just a little kiss, my body, hormones, -whatever was to blame for- took over and I found myself cupping his face with my hands, pulling him closer, kissing him back. A surprised sound left him, but I didn't react to that, kissed him with my eyes closed, not daring to open up and look into his face. Not wanting it to end.

Heartbeat drowning out everything else, we began moving our lips, deepening the kiss. There was still a voice telling me to stop and I knew deep down I had to listen, but I didn't. Mind said no, body made it its goal to never let go of this sensational feeling.

Once my mind took over though and the 'No' won, I backed away, and stared at him with disbelieving eyes. Shocked. Stunned. Surprised.

That's exactly how he looked too, not believing what just happened.

Our chests were both heaving up and down, our breaths erratic, but I was too shocked to focus on that. The silence was killing me.

I started chewing on my lip, looked away from him.

"J-Jungkook, I didn't w-want to.." Kiss me? He kissed me. His eyes were teary, his voice shaking.

What have I done? What have we done?

I tightly pressed my eyes together, scolding myself for giving in into that sensational feeling of his lips against mine. I don't know what's going on with me, what I was thinking, what kept running through me during that moment. My mind and feelings were a total mess, knowing this is something that shouldn't have happened. This is wrong.

But what should I do?

"I'm s-so sorry," his shaking whisper reached my ear, my mind, everything. He shouldn't affect me like that. I felt it to the depths of every vein in my body.

I took a deep breath. "It's okay, it was a mistake."

Without glancing at him again, without sparing him another look, I got up from the bed and left the room.

Once I fell into my bed though, I recalled earlier event. It shouldn't have happened, it was a mistake.

Yet, it didn't feel like one.

TAEHYUNG

I'm so stupid and useless and whatever synonym there is for stupid and useless. I ruined everything. Kissing him was a mistake, he is right.

I felt so weak, so paralyzed, the tears sitting ready in my eyes, but I didn't even have the strength to cry, as I starred through my room, not even recognizing that it's mine.