Dear Heart | Yoongi

12

"Yoora, you're wearing yourself down so much, babe. You've gotta give it a rest." Yoobin says with a sigh, soon placing her hands on my shoulders. I just yank myself out of her hold though, panting heavily as I walk away from her and back over to where my phones connected to the speakers, needing to start the song over so that I can try again. It's the night before the first performance of what'll be many to come, and I don't have the time to be able to afford taking a break now.

"You're still letting it go on. Aren't you?" Siyeon huffs from where she's sat at the back of the practice room. I merely give her a weak glare, knowing fully well that it's half the reason I've fucked up as many times as I have tonight. It's just the three of us at this point, already having gone through practices with all of the bands today in final preparation for tomorrow.

"I'm working on it. It's a process." I breathe out, trying to shake the soreness out of my body as I reach the speakers, reluctantly starting the song over before moving to get in place once more. I know she's not happy with that answer, but it's all I can provide at the moment, not in the mood to discuss the hell that goes on within those classroom walls right now. I don't have the time or energy to waste on it, and I can't afford to mentally fuck myself like that.

"Goddamn it!" I shout just seconds before I'm landing on my hands and knees. I groan at the impact, still not remotely close to feeling any sort of better from yesterday as I let my body flop to the floor completely so that I'm at least taking the pressure off of my knees.

"Honey, you need to take a break. Please, you know this isn't going to get you anywhere. You're shaking, Yoora." Yoobin worries in a gentle tone, and my hands are soon coming up to cover my face, lightly banging my head against the floor beneath me in frustration. Sihyun informed me earlier today that I had somehow ended up double booked tomorrow, that I'd be performing twice, and while it'd been completely accidental, the venue is refusing to remove one of my performances. It means that I'm left with picking an extra song at the last second to perform tomorrow, left to practice and warm up a song that I've not focused on in the last couple weeks at all. I'm practically improvising by now, and I hate that more than anything.

"I can't afford a break, Yoobin. You know that. I don't have time for it. I can't just go out on stage and make an ass out of myself tomorrow. Eunha will have a goddamn field day if I do that more than she already ever does." I mutter tiredly, whining as I reluctantly tug my body back up onto my feet. I'll be lucky if I can get the dance down again, having chosen an older song per Sihyun's request, and no matter how many times I've rewatched my own videos, it doesn't seem to improve my ability to perfect the dance once more.

"Yoora, you're running yourself ragged. We all know you've not slept in the last two nights even if you won't admit it, and you're going to end up injuring yourself here soon if you keep things up the way you currently are." Siyeon argues, tone softer than usual, the oddity enough for me to glance at her through the mirror in confusion. She seems just as worried about me Yoobin is, meaning that they're very close to intervening on my practice, and as much as I'd rather not acknowledge it, I know her level of concern doesn't bode well for my own health, knowing she's not missed her mark yet.

"I don't care to face those nightmares if I don't have to. That's all that's to come if I allow myself the chance to sleep right now. I'll take a break soon, I promise." I mumble with a pout, redoing my hair into a better bun as I make my way back over to where my phone is so that I can restart the song for what feels like the millionth time.

Rubbing my hands over my face roughly, I force myself to flow into the music, trying to move my body the way I know it can, the way it needs to for this particular song. Unfortunately, I don't get more than maybe halfway through before I'm interrupted with a knock on the door, and I drop my entire body to the floor in frustration.