Dear Heart | Yoongi

18

Humming tiredly, I let out a small sigh as I reluctantly try to drag my eyelids open. I have no idea what time it is, but I know I need to be getting up regardless, quickly recalling all of the things I have to be doing still. I pout at the thought, blinking my eyes blearily as I attempt to wake myself back up, reaching a hand up to rub over my face so that I can get myself up and moving. However, I freeze when my vision finally clears, heart rate skyrocketing as I realize I'm not in the living room any longer.

It's only now that I become hyper aware of everything, realizing that there's an arm tossed over my waist, someone laying far too close behind myself, being able to feel their breath ghost across the back of my neck. My entire body begins shaking at the feeling, terrified to find out how clothed or lack there of I am in this moment, terrified to find out how much clothes the person behind me is adorning, head beginning to pound and grow fuzzy all at once. I know I have to move, I have to get out of this, and I'm terrified of what the consequences could be when I do so, knowing my chances of waking whoever's behind me up are far too high.

With a deep breath to try and collect myself as best I can, I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, forcing myself to move. Just pulling out of the person's arm seems to be enough for them to wake, hearing them groan from behind me as I hurry to try and get myself out of the bed as quickly as I can before they're fully awake.

"Ji, what're you-"

He cuts himself off as a yelp falls from my lips, not having paid enough attention to how close I'd been to the edge as I fall to the floor. Hitting the hardwood isn't enough to stop me though, pushing myself back away from the bed as fast as I can to try and maintain a distance. I'm more than horrified when I find that it's Yoongi sitting up on the bed, mind going into overdrive as I push myself back until my back is flat against the wall behind me, feeling as though I'm beginning to lose touch with reality, head spinning at the fact that it's him of all people.

"Ji, are you okay? Shit, did you have another nightmare?"

I can feel the control on my body lessening, gaze falling to the bed directly in front of me, body shaking and head pounding. I'm barely with it enough to catch the sound of feet hurrying down the hall outside of the bedroom, doors opening, and without evening thinking, my arms come up to cover my head whilst my legs instinctively pull up to protect the rest of my body as best the can.

"Ji, hey, no, you're okay. Ji, you're okay."

I flinch at the sound, hardly noticing the way my body rocks as my breath falls in pants.

"Ji, it's just me. You're okay, you're safe. I promise."

His voice doesn't sound any closer this time than it had before, but it doesn't bring me any comfort from having heard him get out of the bed. It means he's closer than he had been originally, and I want nothing to do with it. None of it. All I can do is sit here in wait, knowing something must be coming. I may not know what but I have no doubt something will, and so I stay curled up against the wall with my arms over my head, terrified of what's to come.

Though, even after what feels like several minutes, nothing's happening and nothing more has been said, nothing more to have been heard. It has me nervously bringing my arms down just enough to look and see what's going on, finding Yoongi sitting on his knees with worry filling his eyes, staying seated back near the bed. I frown at the sight, struggling to understand, not being able to figure out why he's just sat there, why there isn't an ounce of frustration on his face, what could possibly be going on.

All I can do is stare at him in fear, feeling my breathing gradually beginning to slow, and I don't know how long it takes before it's occurring to me that he's fully dressed. It's enough for my arms to fall limp, head tilting to the side and eyes squinting at the sight, taking in the fact that he's wearing sweatpants and a tee shirt, hair still a mess a top his head to suggest he hasn't gotten up at any point to make it appear he's been dressed the entire time.