What I Want

Chapter Four

Taylor's P.O.V

Wow that hurt, not even a picture. "Taylor..." Karlie called as I walked from her kitchen and pulled out my phone and pretended to check a text message. I turned and looked at her. "No, Karlie it's fine. I have to go." I saw her face drop I felt bad but that comment really hurt. She didn't want me. I was just a bit of fun for her. I knew models had their reputations but I really liked her. It would take a bit to get over her. "Oh, do you need me to call a taxi?" I shook my head knowing my hotel was a few blocks over. "Okay, is everything okay Taylor?" I smiled a fake smile and nodded my head.
"Of course I am." I said as I hugged Karlie knowing that it would be the last time I would ever do that again. "I'm just going to go. Okay?" I questioned as she looked at me and nodded but I secretly wanted her to kiss me and make me stay but she wasn't going to. Turning to her I waved and walked out of her apartment. One brisk walk to the elevator and another outside and I turned left and walked down the dirty New York street feeling more confused and upset than ever before.

Reaching my hotel room I carefully removed my ankle boots while sitting on the couch in the lounge area, reaching over I turned on the T.V and saw that Grey's Anatomy was on. I sighed and sat back with my feet on the couch now that they were free of the boots. I had seen the episode playing several times but I didn't really care I needed something to distract me from what had happened tonight. Picking up my phone I decided to call someone. Thinking of who was around me I remembered that Ed was here so I scrolled to his contact 'Ginger Jesus' and laughed thinking I had to change that. Dialling the number it rang twice before he answered. "Hey T Swizzle, what's up?"
"Not much Ed, what are you doing?" I heard him fumble around and then he said,
"Well I had a show tonight but yeah, how was the Angels show?" I laughed and then a small sob escaped my mouth. "What was that Tay?" I threw my hand over my mouth knowing he heard it. "Nothing Ed,"
"Did something happen there?"
"No, it almost did though. It was stupid though..." I carried off absentmindedly. I heard Ed breathe then settle down, "What happened Tay?" I took a deep breath and began to explain my night from beginning to end. Ed was shocked because at the end he said "You just left Tay?"
"Yeah Ed, she made it clear that I wasn't that important. She didn't care and didn't try to correct herself."
"Okay, if you're sure. Can you get over this though? You going to be friends now?"
"No I don't think so, if I see her I'll be pleasant but no. It's going to take a bit to get over this."
"Don't kill me but do you want to?" I thought for a bit before saying no to Ed who said it would be okay and then we hung up the phone and I placed it on the coffee table and saw it buzzing with an email from my mom, "Hey baby girl. Great job today I got some stellar shots of you. This is my favourite one though." I smiled and looked at the attachment. It was of Karlie and I her arm was behind me and we were laughing about something. I instantly felt sad but emailed my mom back saying. "Yeah me too mom." Then I sat and watched another episode before crawling through the shower and into my pyjamas I was leaving at 10.15am so I had to get up early to leave. Snuggling down I realised that this wasn't how I pictured my night going and just like that the pain was back. The pain of the past boyfriends always telling me I wasn't good enough the latest one being Harry Styles from One Direction but I put it down to him being immature. Others had cut deeply but being told I wasn't good enough for a picture had re-opened the old wounds and I knew I would need time to get over this. Rolling to see my clock saying the time was 2.30am I realised I needed to sleep. I shut my eyes and forced everything from my mind.

Karlie's P.O.V
It is now 1.15am and I haven't even heard from Taylor to know if she made it back to her hotel okay. She ran out pretty fast but I guess whatever the text said was important. Things had been going so well but now as I sat in my sweatpants and a tank top with a bottle of water in my hands and a sappy love movie playing in the background I realised how lonely I was. Reaching for my phone I quickly typed in my password for twitter and tweeted out. "Amazing show, great performers too." Before shutting twitter back down and heading to my bedroom, there was something that wasn't adding up though and that was the fact that Taylor wanted me back but a text message changed her mind. I knew I liked her a lot, she was amazing. I was a huge fan of her music but an even bigger fan of her. I really needed to thank Lily for getting her to perform. That was when I sat up in bed and realised that I didn't even have her number. How was I going to contact her? Then it hit me that I could just ask Lily, smiling I picked up my phone and went to text Lily but stopped when I saw the time. Placing my phone down I decided to do it in the morning, snuggling into my bed it felt empty and cold. I had assumed that Taylor would have stayed the night but I didn't know. At least I would have had company even for a little while. Living in the city can get so lonely sometimes but with my career heating up there was nowhere else I could be.

Waking up the next morning I immediately glanced at the clock seeing it was almost 11.45am I dialled Lily's number she picked up quick and before I could say anything Lily said, "What did you do to Taylor?" My mind went blank as I thought back.
"Nothing, why what's wrong? Is she okay?" Lily laughed.
"Good one Karlie, I knew introducing you two would be a bad idea, you were just out for fun hmm?" She questioned and I was confused. "What are you on about Lil, we left the after-party last night and came back to mine but she left after ten minutes if that. Why?"
"She's not in the best shape and I thought maybe you had done something. Did you say anything, what did you talk about?" I breathed out and then told Lily about the picture conversation and when I told her what I said she sighed and I stopped. "What?"
"That's what Karlie, that comment about her not being good enough to be a picture on your wall."
"What, the comment. No she said she got a text and had to go." I was confused.
"No she didn't, she faked it. It was the comment, she thought you were using her because you said you didn't want her on the wall. You've heard the rumours of her breaking down right Karlie?" I nodded and then said, "Yeah," quietly before Lily kept speaking.
"It's true, the stories they ran are all true. Harry broke her. It took until September when she took care of Dixie for the night for her to get her 'Taylor Sparkle' back. That comment would have brought out all of her insecurities." I was gobsmacked I had no idea.
"It was a joke Lily, I didn't mean it that way."
"I know Karlie, but she doesn't realise that. I talked to her today and I was shocked she wasn't with you. She asked me to tell you not to contact her." I was shocked again. She didn't want me to call her because she thought I didn't really like her that it was just an easy lay. It wasn't like that. I really liked her. "What do I do Lily? I really like her. What am I meant to do? Pretend it meant nothing, I can't do that!" I spoke angrily though the phone.
"No I don't think that's best. I think you should come to Nashville and stay with me. I'll invite her over and you can explain yourself and if she still doesn't want you then..."
"Yeah I get it, if she doesn't want me then that's it. Okay I'll be there in four hours." She confirmed it with me and I ran to get dressed and get a bag as I booked a flight and text the details to Lily. Five hours later I was in Lily's guest room and I was nervous and that only increased when I heard her voice. "What's this about Lily?" The next thing I knew the door opened and the beautiful blonde who stole my heart the day before entered. Before she could say a word Lily cut in. "Look I don't know what happened between you two but unless you sort this out you aren't leaving this room. Karlie you can start, Dixie and I will be in the lounge so if you try to leave we will see you unless you drop twenty stories in one of the largest apartment buildings in Nashville. Your choice. C'mon Dixie." I watched in awe as Taylor's jaw dropped and I looked at her and spoke. "Hey..." she looked at me and said, "Hey," back looks like today just got more complicated.