'I won't.'
'Why not? You're inviting everyone then why not him?'
'It's my birthday.'
'But we are throwing the party. So we also have a say in this matter.'
Right now I am arguing with Ma with all my might. The thing is this Sunday is my birthday and we are having a small party at our house, just some close friends that's all. Total head count is 20 and now Ma insists to invite New.
But I don't want to see his face. These past few days I have been living in hell. I couldn't eat, sleep and even stopped playing guitar. Thada tried his best to console me but it's like my mind only knows one name.
New! New! New!!!
On these sleepless nights I thought about him....only him. On these restless days I saw him everywhere. In the uni cafeteria sipping coffee, walking on the pavement, waiting for his car near the entrance. The more I saw, the crazier I became.
I wanted to scream at him and tell him that his boyfriend is cheating on him. Stop seeing him you moron!
But couldn't do it.
One day Mint asked me with a concerned face,
'Are you alright Tay? You don't call me on your own anymore. Every night I wait and wait for your call.'
'Sorry, I was busy with a project.'
'You said that last time too. Don't you miss me Tay?'
'It's not like that....'
'P Waii shouted at me yesterday because I accidentally broke New's favourite watch.'
'Really? What did New do?'
'He was just standing there, watching me getting scolded. He is so mean you know.' Her eyes were misty.
'Oh.' I don't know what to say. Should I gift him a wristwatch? The latest one? He must be sad.....
'Tay? Why are you silent?'
'Huh? Nothing....nothing.' What am I thinking!
She didn't say anything but I felt her disappointment.
One thing is for sure.
I irrevocably fell in love with him. There is no hope for me.
'He has a boyfriend.' My brain said.
'But that guy is bad news!' My mind said.
'You are Mint's boyfriend.' My conscience said.
'I don't love her.' My mind said.
'What that makes you? A heartless person! She is sick, she needs your support! You can't just leave her!' My brain said.
My mind and my brain are constantly arguing and making me suffer.
I want to meet New but at the same time I don't want to meet him.
'Darling, you call New and invite him personally. And you, stay out of it.' Ma didn't let me have my way.
'I don't want to celebrate anymore.' I shoved the chair and went straight to my room, banging the door hard on the way.
'Tay!' Ma was shocked.
Why don't you guys understand that if I see him, talk to him I'll fall deeper and I can't afford that. He has become forbidden fruit to me......I want him with all my heart but can't have him.
I couldn't bear this pain anymore so the very next day I grabbed June and confessed everything.
'New!' He was bewildered.
