10 days....240 hours.... without you..
'Let him rest. He is not in a good condition. Don't talk about something stimulating in front of him. He can't bear it. Mentally he is very weak.'
The room was full of people. Ma was talking to the doctor. Pa and Thada were standing side by side listening to that doctor's lecture. Two maids were standing outside the door and trying to understand the situation. I was watching everything with slightly opened eyes.
I wasn't sleeping. I was just pretending. I was just eagerly waiting for them to leave. Only then New will come back to me. I don't know why but he became very shy these days. He won't appear in front of anyone. Only when I am alone he comes out and talk to me.
'But doctor, he is not improving in any way! He won't talk to us, he won't eat anything, he won't come out of his room. All he wants is to be alone.' Ma was crying but what can I do? If you guys stay in my room, New won't come! If I go out of my room I won't see him....I can't let that happen na? I want nothing much.....I just want to see my Hin. Why don't you people understand!
'I understand Mrs Vihokratana. But you have to be patient with him. He is not stable mentally. He is even hallucinating! You saw that too right?' The doctor said with a serious face.
Hallucinating! Huh! Just because you can't see him doesn't mean I am imagining things. You guys thought that New is ........no no! I can't even think about that absurd thing! New is fine! Totally fine and he is with me. He told me himself. Everytime I asked he says he is fine.
'Yes. I was so scared that day! He was laughing and crying at the same time. When I hurriedly hugged him he said New came to see him. He was laughing, looking at an empty chair! I was afraid that he is going crazy so I called you again. But he was angry and stopped talking to me.' Ma was rubbing her eyes.
'That boy was very precious to him.'
Was! He is very precious to me! This doctor! I will kill you!
'I know. Thada told me everything. I was shocked but finally understand Tay's strange behaviour. From the moment he heard about New's death.......he became so uncontrollable. We were puzzled but after hearing everything......I felt utterly sad. He is in so much pain.....but nothing can be done....'
I became stiff instantly. Stop saying such things! New will get offended if he hears you! Nothing has happened to him.... really! He is fine.
'Time will heal every wound. You just continue giving him the medicines I prescribed.... After he regain some strength.....He needs to go to a psychiatrist....'
Go. To. Hell! I don't need your medicines or help of a psychiatrist. I just need my Hin.....
I am happy that he is with me now. There is just one thing......
I can't touch him. He always steps back whenever I get closer to him. I don't like this but don't say anything.......I don't want him to disappear again.
..........................................................
1 month......30 days.....7200 hours.....without you
'Where are we going?' I didn't want to leave my room but Thada said he wants me to meet someone.
'I don't want to meet anyone. Let's go back.'
'Don't! Tay! We are in a moving car! Why are you opening the door!' Thada grabbed my arm and pulled me closer.
Oh.
'New is waiting for me at home. We were playing with Bai long. Why did you drag me with you?' I complained.
'You can't do this to yourself Tay! It's already been a month.....'
