Retroexposure

Chapter 22 - February 3 - Birthday Blues?

Sunday 24th February 2008 11:16pm
Happy Birthday to me! Yes, I am another year older. Whether I'm another year wiser is debatable! It was ok day today. I'd invited a couple of my friends over to hang out, and just to break the monotony of the day up. But sadly they didn't come round. One of the friends didn't tell me that the football match he was going to was in the afternoon and not in the morning, as I had been led to think. Anyway, at church this morning another friend did the usual 'Let's-embarrass-him-and-sing-happy-birthday-to-him' moment! It's true. I was embarrassed, only because the same people wishing me a happy birthday had only been giving a fellow parishioner their sympathies after her husband died. What made me feel worse is that it would have been the husband's birthday on Tuesday. And then the widow came over to me and apologised for forgetting my birthday. I was stunned that she apologised. She didn't have to do that. Her husband died last Sunday and it's his funeral this coming Wednesday – the day after his birthday. So I think she was a little bit busy making certain arrangements to remember little ol' me's birthday.
So with my two mates not being able to make it, all we had to wait for was our landlord, who was coming to measure up the fireplace. And guess what? Yep, that's right, he didn't show up either. So Mum and I spent the afternoon playing the Leicestershire version of Monopoly. I won (of course!). Seriously, Mum is usually pretty good at Monopoly, so for me to win is an unusual feat! My birthday cake (one of two) was actually a homemade one. One of the elderly dog-walking crew that I often take Sven with, is a dab hand at cooking, and her cake was very good, so I must thank her when I return the box that the cake came in.
At least several of my Facebook friends wished me a happy birthday. It made up for some of my real friends letting me down. One being a little bit pettier than others, but I won't go into who that was. Let's just say it won't take an Einstein to work out who forgot me, deliberately I feel.
To round off the day we saw the latest edition of Dancing On Ice and an episode of Wild At Heart. Following that, I persuaded Mum to watch a film called Howard The Duck, It's a bit of a cult classic, so it might not be to everyone's taste. I like it and it's just been released on DVD. But having just seen it, I don't think I'll be in a rush to buy it yet. It'll be worth waiting a while for when it's cheaper, and with it being such a cult film, that will more than likely happen quite quickly, probably in the next six months, hopefully! 11:43pm

Monday 25th February 2008 10:24pm
It's the start of my second and final week at college on this retail course. I'm actually going to be quite sad when this has finished, probably because I'm going to miss the interaction with other people.
This morning just as I was getting ready to go to college, there was a power cut. Because of having to go to college, I had to leave Mum at home with no power or heating! Fortunately, the power came back on just over an hour later, so Mum didn't lose out too much!
I got to speak to DAC today to find out why she ignored me yesterday. She said that she was angry with me. She is truly, madly and deeply in love with me. I've explained to her that I don't feel that way about her, in quite that way, but she's willing to give me time to change my mind! Can't say that that will happen anytime soon, unless we meet on a regular basis. And I can't see that happening, as I can't afford to see her and I don't think she can afford to see me either. 10:34pm

Tuesday 26th February 2008 10:56pm
It's been a busy day today. After I had my session at college I had to sign on and then I had to go and see my probation officer. So let's go through the day in order.
College: This really starts from last night as I was struggling to sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about one of the girls from my course. Eventually I fell asleep, but I did wonder what that meant. My initial thought is, that I really like her, as in I-want-to-date-her like her. Problem is, I only have a day and a half to ask her out, or otherwise I lose my chance. Thing is, she has extra complications. She has a two-year-old daughter and I assume a boyfriend too, so is it worth me trying? You don't know unless you try; do you?
Job Centre: I had to sign on late because of my college commitments, so yesterday I arranged a time to sign on today. A job centre advisor went and arranged my appointment and came back with a slip that said that I'd be signing on today at 2pm, and that my advisor would be number 007. Since when did James Bond become a job centre advisor? Obvious gag, I know. But I couldn't resist!
Probation: Well, today could be my last ever probation appointment. It means that I finish probation one year early. For good behaviour as it were. L, my probation officer, was impressed by my enthusiasm about my college course. So much so, that she even gave me the go-ahead to try for a particular job, that a year ago she thought would be completely out of my league! All in all today was a pretty good day. If I do ask that girl out tomorrow, then tomorrow will be a good day too, with the sad exception that I'll be going to a funeral tomorrow afternoon. 11:17pm

Wednesday 27th February 7:21am
I woke up half an hour ago to discover that an earthquake has rocked England! It was a 5.2 on the Richter scale. It happened at about 1am. It apparently woke Mum up, but yours truly slept through the whole damn thing!! I only heard about it after a friend from America left me a message through Facebook asking about the earthquake. I was a bit stunned to hear about it like that!! I'll write again later when I have more time. 7:25am
　
　
　
10:52pm
I decided to head to college earlier than usual. Not because of the earthquake, but because I planned to talk to that girl that I'd been thinking about, and as of last night, I started to dream about her too! However, my plans were futile, as she didn't make it into college today. I don't know why, I hope I'll find out tomorrow. Then I'll decide whether or not to ask her out then. Some of the other students were planning to go for a Chinese meal after we finish tomorrow. It will be a kind of end-of-course celebration. As I had to leave early because of a funeral, I don't know what the end agreement was. I might take my photographic portfolio in with me tomorrow as I may head over to that photographic studio, just in case the Chinese meal thing doesn't happen.
The funeral went as well as could be expected and thankfully, the weather held off and remained rain free. I tried to get myself as involved as possible, so I handed out the order of service sheets. At the end of the funeral, as the coffin was being wheeled out, I felt obliged to salute the coffin as the funeral was for a former world war two veteran. To hear that he was in the D-Day landings as well as campaigns in Italy made this man a true hero and legend as far as I was concerned. He's definitely up there with Gramps! The soldier was given a nice eulogy and it made me think about what I'd want at my funeral. I know I'm 27, but you can't help thinking about your own mortality. I thought that for my funeral I'd like to have the famous poem by W.H Auden's "Stop All The Clocks".

W.H. Auden's "Funeral Blues: Stop All The Clocks..."
(from the book 'Another Time' by W.H. Auden)
'Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone.
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let the aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put the crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week, my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.'

I know that it was famously used in the movie Four Weddings and A Funeral, but it's because of that film, that I liked the above poem, so if at all possible, this is certainly what I'd want read at my funeral!
Ok, enough of me being morbid, I'm heading for a shower, then off to bed! 11:24pm
　
　
　
Thursday 28th February 2008 10:28pm
Well, that's it. The end of my two-week course studying, in depth, the world of the retail industry! Actually, today was rushed in some respects. Somehow we had managed to fall behind, so today's session was rushed and for some reason, it felt incomplete.
Anyway the highlight for me was, me going with five women from the course for an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. And then we went for a drink in a pub later in the afternoon. I also got to try sushi for the first time as well. That's the great thing about these buffet things, you can try anything you want and have as little as you want. So there I was, surrounded by five very lovely women and three of them, I consider very attractive! But at the same time, not really my type! I am going to miss the people from this course. Although the six of us who went for a Chinese all swapped numbers, under the proviso that whenever we see anything related to jobs going in the new shopping development complex, we text each other and give us all a heads-up! Already, one of the girls texted me tonight to try and arrange something for next week, if I can get there, I will.
In the main news of the day, the British media had been forced into revealing that Prince Harry, third in line to the throne, had been fighting on the front line for the last 10 weeks, fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan. I don't know the ins and outs of it yet, but I'm sure that it'll be all over the papers tomorrow. And if I can be arsed, I might talk about it in detail tomorrow.
Warning!!! Tomorrow is February 29th. It's a 4-yearly occurrence where, it's a tradition apparently, for the woman to propose to the man. So I'd better be wary, just in case DAC's got any plans!! 10:55pm