Retroexposure

The Battle: Mum's Fainting Fits

Monday 2nd February 2009
It's been 7 weeks since Mum was diagnosed with Cancer. I should have been writing in this since then, but I guess I couldn't bring myself to really talk about it.
In the week after Mum was diagnosed with cancer, I decided to write to a celebrity, Jade Goody, who is battling cancer herself. I'd written to her previously, to show support through her own battle. After her reply, I thought, I'd tell her that my Mum was now in the same boat as she was. As well as Jade, I wrote off to The Paul O'Grady show too, asking for a 'Nodding Buster' which is one of those nodding dog-head dolls. I wanted Mum to have one in time for her first chemotherapy (chemo) treatment on the 18th December. Mum didn't get it in time for her chemo, but it did come in time for Christmas!
Mum had an okay first couple of days directly after the chemo, but from Christmas Eve, she went downhill fast. She was constantly being sick, when she was awake and up and about, which might explain why she spent 20hrs a day in bed! She could hardly eat. She had these fainting fits, that I don't mind saying, scared the fucking shit out of me! Her eyes were bursting out of their sockets and the muscles in face relaxed, so it almost looked like she was having a stroke. Catatonic, is the way I'd describe what Mum looked like. But she refused to go into hospital. Because it was Christmas! Also, it was around my Dad's anniversary. Thing is, I wish I had taken matters into my own hands and got her sent in. Because, for all intents and purposes, I was practically on my own anyway! It was an awful week, if I'm honest. My patience was seriously tested a few times. However, Mum finally promised me that on the 5th January, she'd ring the chemo suite and ask for their advice.
When it came to that Monday, Mum still wasn't terribly brilliant, so I rang them on her behalf. And what was their response? Bring her in straight away! Well seeing as we didn't have a car, they decided to send out an ambulance. When the paramedics arrived to take Mum in, she had one of her fainting fits again. This time, standing up. First time that happened – the others were sitting down fits. She went down like a sack of spuds, but thankfully, Mum was between a paramedic, and myself so we were able to ease her to the floor. As I looked at her face, it was the bug-eyed expression again, so I knew it was a faint. We eventually got her into the ambulance and she was taken straight to Oncology West at the Osbourne building, part of the Leicester Royal Infirmary.
Mum spent 3 and half weeks in there. Over that 3 weeks, she had blood transfusions, drips containing either potassium or magnesium sulphates. She did have good news though. After only one course of chemo, the tumours were shrinking, and she was also losing her hair too.
While Mum was in hospital, she got her wig sorted and has a few turbans too. She didn't have to pay for the wig as she's on benefits! Also Mum's Disability Living Allowance has been boosted to the highest level now, so, I can inquire about getting a carer's allowance and Mum, when she's fitter, will be able to get a motability car! She's actually really excited about that. – She's set her Wedding anniversary to my Dad – June 6th – as a target to be able to drive! Hope she achieves that!

Wednesday 4th February 2009
Pre chemo bloods taken today

Tuesday 10th February 2009
Visited Susan today, bloods to be taken tomorrow, Wednesday, 11th in readiness for the hospital appointment on Thursday.

Thursday 19th February 2009
What a hard couple of weeks. Mum's been turned down 3 times to resume her chemotherapy treatment. Her body's too weak. She's been sleeping a hell of a lot this past 10 days, so I can understand why the doctors think she is too weak. Since last year, she's lost 5 stone in weight. Under different circumstances, that's something to be proud of. Not in this case.
Mum's lost about 80% of her hair now, to the extent that she tried on the wig for the first time. It suits her. I put the photo up on my Facebook page, and it's also my 'wallpaper' on my phone too.
Speaking to Mum's consultant, Dr. Andrews today, I finally asked her the dreaded question that Mum doesn't want to know. I now know how long Mum's got. Now I know, should I tell her? I told a few of my friends and the Kelly's (seeing as they've been our main support since day one.). I spoke to one of the nurses on the Chemo Suite, Carol, and I also asked her professional opinion, She sees cancer patients day in and day out for a lot longer than the doctors do, so I trusted her opinion. Saying that – I hope Mum's got as long as Dr. Andrews said and not what Carol said!
I had my first teary moment tonight. No bawling, but my eyes did well up a bit.
Seeing as I've mentioned Jade Goody, in this particular chapter, it's only right that I update on that too. Jade's cancer spread and last week she found out that it was terminal. How shit is that? Life can be so cruel. Jade's my age, She and her boyfriend Jack are getting married, quickly. So on Sunday, she'll finally marry her man! Tragic thing is, she'll only have 6 weeks with him, if that. Jade may have been known as a bit of a ditzy blonde in her Big Brother days, but she certainly made a career out of her fame. Sure, she's hit the skids on her business ventures and her second Big Brother stint, but what is clear now and has always been, her purpose for fame is to give her children the kind of life that she never had.
When Jade first had cancer, people criticised her for telling all to the press. Yet now, those same critics are saying what a tragedy this is. Jade had said that she has no problem admitting that she was doing the interviews for the money. She's getting as much money as she possibly can to fund for the welfare of her children, and I commend her wholeheartedly for that.
I wrote to her again, just the other day. I'm sure I babbled in the letter! You just don't know what to say. I've always loved Jade, from a fan point of view, and my prayers will be with her.