Retroexposure

Chapter 30 - Terrorists, Soapbox, Tennis, SSDD

Tuesday 1st July 2008
A man comes home with a lie-detecting robot. He's so proud of his purchase that it takes pride of place in the front room.
That day, his teenage son Tommy gets home from school two hours late. "Where have you been?" ask his parents.
"Several of us went to the library," says Tommy.
The robot comes alive, walks around the table and slaps Tommy.
"Son, this is a robot lie-detector," explains his dad. "Now tell us where you went after school!"
"We went to Bobby's house and watched the news," says the teen.
The robot slaps him again, and with his lip quivering, Tommy says, "We really watched a DVD called Sex Queen"
This time, the robot remains motionless.
His dad shakes his head. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."
Suddenly, the robot walks around to the dad and delivers a massive hit that knocks him out of his chair.
"Boy, did you ever ask for that one," his wife says, bent double laughing. "And you can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son."
The robot immediately slaps her three times.

Wednesday 2nd July 2008 1:47pm
I can't really think of a reason as to why I haven't written that much lately. I guess I haven't been motivated enough. I guess that's what happens when every single day seems to merge into one. I've been watching tennis, as it's been the Wimbledon fortnight. Andy Murray is doing really well at the moment. He has had a reputation of being a bit dull, but after his amazing 5-set thriller of a match on Monday, it's safe to say that his fan base has improved big time! He's due to face Rafael Nadal in the quarters today. Andy won't be the favourite, statistically, but I think on the day, he might actually beat him! I wasn't that interested in the Euro 2008, which was won by Spain, mainly due to the fact that England wasn't in it! I could never understand why the main terrestrial TV channels flooded the schedules with all these matches. I just wasn't interested. What I have been doing a lot of lately, is whipping mum at Scrabble on my PS2!
If anything, I'll keep you posted on Wimbledon, but for now, I'll write again later! 1:56pm

Monday 7th July 2008 11:14pm
Today was the third anniversary of the London 7/7 bomb attack. 3 years ago terrorists brought London to a stand still when they bombed an underground train and a bus. These sadistic bastards wanted to bring the same amount of terror that the Americans suffered with their 9/11 WTC twin towers disaster. That's coming up to 7 years this year. Where's the time gone? One thing these terrorists will never understand, is that they may try and destroy our lives, by maiming or killing us and bringing the world to a standstill, but they can never, and will never, destroy our Spirit. We British have the traditional stiff upper lip and a cup of tea, which is always useful in a crisis (!) Americans have a no-quit attitude as well. We will stand taller than any enemy in the face of adversity.
I tip my hat to all those heroes of both 7/7 and 9/11. They are the real Supermen and women. I found out recently that one of my old schoolmates is currently in Iraq. I hope he does us proud out there. I certainly don't want to read about him in the national newspaper. Unless it's good news of course, as the papers only seem to report from Iraq when soldiers have been killed.

As I'm still on my soapbox, I read a couple of things over the weekend that really got my goat! One story was about a plan to teach children of 4 years old the basics of sex education at school, using the proper vocabulary and everything. That's frigging ridiculous. 4 year olds don't need to know all of that. Besides, it's down to the parents, not teachers. When I was 4, all I was interested in was 'when could I play in the sandpit?' or 'when was break so that I could have a carton of juice?' or what 1+1 was, not 'boys have penises and girls have vaginas!' I actually did that when I was 7 at my primary school, and the headmistress had to call Mum and Dad and tell them that I was behaving inappropriately and scaring the children with my vulgarity! Hysterically, three years later, a film called "Kindergarten Cop" featured a little boy who said the exact same thing I did. I've often wondered if the scriptwriter or a member of that film production team had someone who went to my school!
The other story was about two school pupils who were put in detention because they didn't pray to Allah in an R.E lesson. For a start they weren't even Muslim. They were also ordered to don Islamic headgear and partake in other Islamic practices. The teacher that took that lesson is under investigation. I'm all for learning about different cultures and prayers, but to put a couple of kids on detention just because they didn't take part in all of the lesson is a bit on the harsh side. I think what made this a public outcry is that the kids were non-Muslim. It wasn't made clear if the teacher was Muslim herself, but I'm sure it's been implied. It would make the story even odder if she wasn't a Muslim though. Another religious overreaction is a council banning a pupil from using a bus to her Catholic school because, well, she isn't a Catholic herself. There are 'no seats for non-practising students' apparently. If having non-Catholic students on the school bus was such an issue, why did the school accept her in the first place? Non-Catholics went to my school easily enough on the designated school buses. As long as the pupil gets to have an education does it matter what their religious persuasion is? It just winds me up!
Change of subject now. Wimbledon is finally over. Andy Murray was annihilated by Nadal, who went on to win the championship in perhaps, arguably the best, and longest final in Wimbledon history. Nadal prevented Federer from shattering Bjorn Borg's record of 5 consecutive titles after he had equalled it last year. Both finalists had a Borg record to break. Nadal's one was to be the first player since Borg in 1980, to win both the French Open and Wimbledon in the same calendar year. Which means that no male player has won all four Grand Slam tournaments in a single calendar year in at least 28 years!
Now the tennis is over we now have the Olympics to look forward too! First it was Euro 2008, then tennis, and then athletics. No wonder people are getting sick of the all the sport on television lately. With Spain winning the football and a Spaniard winning the tennis, will Spain conquer the medals board at the Olympics? I doubt it! That accolade usually goes to the Aussies or the Americans!
Our British athletes are improving though. We have a star of the future in Laura Robson in tennis and the ever-rising star in the world of Formula One in Lewis Hamilton who won the British Grand Prix in convincing style yesterday.
I promised to let you know when Leicester City found their new manager and about 2 and a half weeks ago, our new manager was announced to be Nigel Pearson. He's an upcoming manager, relatively young, but ambitious. Which must be the only reason as to why he left a club in the division above to join recently relegated City. Don't get me wrong, I hope he does well for us - he has to. I can't see Milan Mandaric expecting any less than an immediate return to the Championship. Speaking of City, they've just launched their new away strip, all black with blue trim. I swear, if I could afford it, I'd love to have that shirt! Flattering on a fat bloke like me for a start! Plus, it just looks wicked cool! (God, that's an American phrase 'wicked cool' I must have seen too many Buffy episodes!)
Tuesday 8th July 2008 12:15am

Wednesday 9th July 2008 11:41am
Yesterday, Giles from that skills centre called back, not to follow up the last phone call between us, but to say that the new Cinema that's opening up in the Highcross was holding an assessment day, much like APPLE did the other week. The college again recommended me for the posts, but until I see what the posts are I doubt that I'll be attending the day. And to be told that the guaranteed contracts are just 4 hours minimum seems ridiculous. I know it's a risk, but I want to wait for a few specific stores to have vacancies. You know you will enjoy a job more if you like what you are helping to sell. That's why I was in my element, way back when I worked at Choices!
This weather is really depressing for this time of year. It's July for heaven's sake! We should be basking in 25-30 degree sunshine all the way till September! With all the rain this country has had over the last couple of years, the government had better not slap on a hosepipe ban next time we have a heatwave! Who am I kidding? That's probably exactly what they'd do. They are already losing control of this country with this petrol crisis. This time last year, and if I'm factually incorrect – I apologise; petrol was roughly fifty pence cheaper. Yet, the government isn't doing anything to rectify it. Food costs are going up. Yet benefits aren't increasing to compensate. The sooner Brown is booted from office, the better. Blair was nowhere near as bad as his successor, at least if he was, I didn't notice! 11:56pm

Saturday 12th July 2008 12:45pm
I've just started reading a new book. I say new, it was published in 2001, but... well... you know what I mean. I'm babbling! The book is another from the Writing God that is Stephen King! It's called Dreamcatcher. Now I don't quite know what it's about yet as I've just started it, but it appears to have something to do with UFOs. Which seems, coincidently, suitable reading material after seeing in the news over the last few weeks that there have been loads of UFO sightings, particularly in Wales. So instead of being humorously referred to as the 'sheep-shagging country' (not that the Welsh like that reference, I imagine! It's a lovely country, and I love the accent. I especially love the sexy looking Charlotte Church, who's currently expecting baby number 2!), Wales is fast becoming 'X-Files' Central!
Going back to the book, there's a motto that the main characters refer to, and it's one that I could definitely adopt for myself. SSDD. Same Shit. Different Day. That definitely sums up my life at the moment! 12:57pm