Tuesday 1st April 2008 12:29pm
It's April Fool's Day. It's past midday and no one has made a fool of me today.
After the death of Quasimodo the bishop decides to have an audition for a new bellringer. Five candidates turn up and the last to go wants to climb the tower.
"We usually pull the ropes down here," says the bishop
"I do it my special way," the man replies.
They climb up to the belfry and the man starts ringing by bashing the bells with his face. This strange technique produces a wonderful mellow tone and the bishop is just about to give him the job when the man slips and falls to his death. Horrified, the bishop runs down to where a crowd has gathered around the body.
"Who was he?" they say.
"Don't know," says the bishop, "but his face rings a bell."
(and there's more...)
The dead man's brother turns up and demands that he be given the job to compensate for his poor brother's death. The bishop agrees to an audition but during the ringing, the biggest bell comes off its rocker and crashes down on top of the ringer, killing him instantly. The crowd rush into the church and once again ask who has been killed.
"Don't know," says the bishop, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
A bit of a groaner, I know, but I like jokes like this that are either puns or double meanings. It makes you think, laugh, and then groan!! 12:45pm
Thursday 3rd April 2008 12am
Just missed out on making this Wednesday's entry by 2 minutes! I am officially a Cad! Not in the James Hewitt sense, but more in the fact that I'm an incorrigible flirt I think! There's a girl up in Scotland who just recently I've enjoyed getting down and saucy with through the wonders of text messaging. Let's just say that if she and I lived in the same town, what we say in text messages is what we'd do to each other if we met in real life! Whether that's true or not, the paranoid side of me refuses to believe it.
Then there's a girl a bit closer to home that is a very good friend of J's before she moved to Australia. I flirt with her through text messaging too. Not to the same extent as the Scottish girl and I, but might be possible one day. She lives in a nearby town to me, so it is possible to arrange to meet up in the City Centre, if I ever plucked up the courage, or had the cash. This one, I think, I would stand a better chance with, I'm just too nervous to take the next step.
Then, of course, there is DAC who is in Coventry. Is it wrong to lead her on? Of course it bloody is! I just want her to be a friend really, nothing more. Problem is, I doubt she would accept that.
I've come to the conclusion, that I hide the true me behind a façade that I created when I'm talking to people through the Internet or through text messages. I mean the façade of me IS me, I just find that I can express more easily through words written on a screen or phone than I can speaking words that come out of my mouth.
I've seen pictures of Town Girl and Scottish Girl on Facebook and they've seen pictures of me too, so they know my biggest flaw (my weight) and they don't seem to mind, so why should I be so nervous? It's my nature I guess. My facial looks are certainly my best feature. Some say my eyes, and one or two even say that dimples are my best feature too. Head and shoulders up, I'm fine. Below the shoulders needs a lot of work. I guess, once I've conquered that, I'll get my life sorted and then I might play the field a bit. I might find myself going up to Scotland and proving that I'm not just good at imagining, I can do the reality too! Then I might take Town Girl out on a date after that. As for DAC, well she wants my body, my kids, and more than likely my soul too, so as to what I'm going to do there, I have no fucking clue!! Pardon my French, it just felt like the necessary word! I know one thing though; I can't let her read this entry though!! You know what? Screw that! It's only my train of thought at this moment in time. On another day, I might feel different and find myself apologising at some point! I guess I'll just have to see what my future brings! 12:28am
YOU ARE READING
Retroexposure
Non-FictionIntroduction I wrote a book some time ago, detailing my life for a whole year, I want to get it published, but don't have the means to. So I might as well join the millions of other users that blog, and publish my book this way. So read on, comment...
