Friday 20th March 2009
Susan was discharged from LRI on 18.3.09. Blood test was taken today. Susan stated that she feels tired and has a taste in her mouth. Susan is using mouthwash presented to her.
Saturday 21st March 2009
I'm frightened. Mum's been home since Wednesday, but she has barely eaten a thing. She's barely drunk anything either. She's been sleeping a lot. I've tried getting her up, she makes it downstairs and just sleeps there. I wanted to call the oncology ward tonight, but Mum didn't want me to trouble the night staff. She's been vomiting consistently since she left the hospital. It's as though she ended up worse than she did when she went in for the second stint. The vomiting is down to the magnesium tablets. It has to be. When I call the ward tomorrow, I'm almost certain they will say, "Get her brought in."
I've just put her to bed. She admits that she is weak. And, my God, she looks it. It's Mother's Day tomorrow. I just pray that it's not Mum's 'day.'
Sunday 22nd March 2009 – Mother's Day
It wasn't Mum's 'day', but Jade Goody's. The young mum passed away at 3:14am this morning. She was only 27. Jade's plight had really affected me. Obviously more since Mum's diagnosis, but it makes me realise just how short a time Mum's got. Jade was diagnosed and succumbed in 7 months. I know each person's cancer battle is different, but it's just a benchmark that I'm using. I nearly crumpled at the end of mass today. Being Mother's Day, the children (of all ages, I might add!) give their Mums a daffodil. I picked one knowing that this may be Mum's last, and I'm questioning in my head whether or not I'll be able to cope.
While I remember, the husband and wife I mentioned earlier? The one where the wife had a few days left? Well, she was conscious, and discharged within a matter of days after that diary entry!
Monday 23rd March 2009.
As you'd expect, all the papers are full of tributes and pages and pages of reports of Jade's death. Closer to home, I had to phone the district nurse this morning to organise an immediate blood test for today. And Mum's District nurse managed to organise another nurse to come out to take it as she herself was in clinic in the morning. Mum is notorious for being very 'generous' when giving blood. But since her chemo and several drips while in hospital, her veins have collapsed. So getting blood isn't easy. However, there is a nurse who - her colleagues joke - can get "blood out of a stone". And she claims that her patients call her 'Jane – The Pain!' Well she did get the blood she needed, so now we just have to wait for the results. Tomorrow, the LOROS nurse is paying Mum a visit around half one. See what she says about Mum's current situation. Mum still hasn't eaten anything, or drunk as much as she should. Is she wasting away in front of my eyes?
Thursday 26th March 2009
Today, I had to do something that I never imagined I would do (not without pay anyway). Mum soiled herself in bed and I had to clean her up and the bed too. I truly respect the care assistants and nurses in the care homes and hospitals after that. Though not many people can say that they'd do that for a member of their own family – only the true loyal family would do that – others would palm them off to hospitals and care homes!! Mum has really dwindled in the last week. I was supposed to call out a doctor today, but Mum and I had second thoughts when you knew that the call out doctor was the incompetent bitch of a doctor that misdiagnosed Mum in the first place. Ok, "Bitch" is a harsh word to use, but for all the fannying around that this woman did, Mum's cancer could've been caught sooner! Not sure if it would have necessarily made any difference, but you get my point, right? Tomorrow we'll try the doctor again and hopefully get the one we want. And then it may result in Mum going back into hospital again!
Saturday 28th March 2009
Called out by Dr Wells to offer support and mouthcare. James and Susan managing care needs. Mouthcare given, tongue very coated, soft toothbrush used to clean tongue, review.
Sunday 29th March 2009
Tongue cleaned today, lots removed. Advised to use Vaseline on lips.
YOU ARE READING
Retroexposure
Non-FictionIntroduction I wrote a book some time ago, detailing my life for a whole year, I want to get it published, but don't have the means to. So I might as well join the millions of other users that blog, and publish my book this way. So read on, comment...
