My happiness

First day of school

*4 years later*

Alanna's pov

"Wake up cutie...", I hear my mom say as she shakes me to wake up.
She opens the curtains. Bright sunlight shines through my room.
"You have to wake up Alanna.", she whispers stroking my hair. I open my eyes.
"Mornin mom.", I say. "Mornin baby.", she gives me a peck on my forehead. "I'll be downstairs making breakfast alright?", mom tells me before exiting my room.
I nod.
I exhale as she closes the door behind her and get up.
She's gone. I look at my lower arms, that are full of fresh marks. I wasn't feeling great yesterday, I needed to vent. I had to do it...
I'm used to doing it almost every day and mom is not allowed to find out. She's supposed to think I'm okay.
And she does think I'm okay. So does everyone near me. Except for Wanda. She knows about everything. Not because I told her, but because she read my mind. I didn't really ask for that either. Other than her no one's allowed to find out.
I get up and enter my bathroom to get ready.
I look at myself in the mirror.
I just need to take a bath, change clothes, do my hair and make up and prepare myself mentally for this day. If it wasn't the first day of school it wouldn't be a lot to do since I'm used to getting a little later there. But today I need to be there a lot earlier. I can't immediately start the year with a call for my mother informing her that I'm yet again late. She'd kill me.
But honestly, if I get good grades why does it matter so much if I'm on time or not?
They're always searching for something negative. And I need to just shut them up.

***

I look at the mirror one last time. Hair is great. A simple sleek back bun with a little bit of my curly hair out. My make up also turned out pretty well. My eye bags aren't visual. My blush is on point and the outfit looks pretty much okay as well. Low waist straight wide leg jeans with a long sleeved crop top, some hoop earrings and white sneakers. There's no reason for anyone to look at me and think that I'm weird.
I'm safe.
"Mornin Alanna!", Bella calls behind me. I turn around to face her and she immediately hugs me.
"Did you sleep well?", I ask looking at her. She nods.
"That's awesome.", I smile.
"Mom's asking when you're done. Wanda's here, she's getting you to school today and mom wants you to breakfast before going to school."
I nod. Of course she wants to watch me breakfast. She's done it every day ever since finding out about my eating disorder.
"Let me get my school bag."
I take my phone and my school bag and exit my room along with Bella.
We walk down the stairs. "Don't run Bella.", I say already knowing she was about to do it. "Sorry.", she says. Mom and dad laugh out loud. "Mornin dad, Mornin Wanda!"
I sit along them on the kitchen table.
I'm so looking forward to this day! Not because it's my first day of school, but because I'm seeing Lila again and afterwards I'm spending the whole day with Wanda, before going to dancing lessons.
"Two?", Mom asks pointing at the pancakes.
I would much rather not eat anything. Maybe an apple.... Nevertheless I nod and quickly eat the pancakes up.
"They tasted great mom!", I say with a smile plastered on my face. What a fake bitch I am.
She nods and smiles, getting the plate that's standing in front of me. I take my phone to look at the time. We have to get going. "We have to go."
I get up, so does Wanda. „Bye mom, bye dad.", I hug both of them. I then face Bella. "Bye Al.." , she says sadly. She not happy about going to school. She told me that yesterday. "Bye Bella...", I kneel down to be a little closer to her. "Make the best out of it, remember?", I whisper. She nods smiling. I stand up again. "Bye guys!", Wanda says. "Bye!", they answer.
And with that we exit the house.

We enter the car.
"I know you want to do it Alanna.", Wanda immediately tells me. I exhale.
"You need to stop reading my mind. I don't do that with you either.", I annoyingly tell her. "I do that because I'm worrying about you. It took you so much effort to get out of this, do you really want to do it again? Do you really want to start throwing up again?"
I shake my head. She's right. I don't wanna get as bad as I was after I came back from the red room.
"I need you Alanna, you're my best friend, I don't want you to get worse. I don't wanna lose my little sister again..." 
"I know that Wanda, that's one of the reasons I'm still here.", I simply tell her not showing any emotions. I don't like talking about it. It makes me sad and weak. I'm better than that.
She hugs me. Tears threatening to fall from her eyes. She's the only one that knows about what I'm going through. And I appreciate it that she hasn't told anyone. But she has to stop worrying about me. I can do it alone. That puts so much pressure on me. And I can't even lie to her because, guess what, she'll read my mind again to find out if it's true or not.
"Be strong.", she whispers. I nod.
She starts driving.
Wanda has always been there for me. Even before everything happened. She was there for me when mom and dad were gone working. Immediately after the blip she was also there for me. And now she's still here.
After we came back, Wanda was pretty much alone. Vision was gone. She had no family, no friends... now as a sixteen year old girl, I understand that it must've been really hard for her. My parents wanted to help her. On weekdays they sent her to school. After school she stayed with us made her homework did all the family stuff with us and at night mom and dad brought her back to the avengers compound. On weekends she slept over.
Now four years later, she's still here and it's like there has never been a time without her.
"Are you ready for school?", she asks. I give her the biggest side eye in the world history.
What does she think? "Yeah, totally.", I sarcastically answer. "Hey, two more years to go, then you're free."
"College."
"Well, after that you'll be free."
I look out the window. We're here. "Thank you Wanda.", I exit the car. "I'll pick you up later ?"
I nod and wave her good bye.  I turn around and enter the school. Already in there I feel the bad vibes go through my skin. What have we teenagers done so bad to be here? I stare at the full hallway searching for Lila. "Alanna!"
I turn around. Lila! She gives me a strong hug. "How was California?"
"Pretty great.", I answer. We spent the last couple of weeks there as a family. It was awesome. I wish I could be there right now and not here.
"I already hate it here.", I admit. "Same.", she admits as well. We start walking towards our lockers. "What's our first class?"
I look at my phone. "English."
"Great, You're helping me right?"
I nod. "Of course."

***

20 minutes into English class. Boring. I just keep drawing circles on my sheet. "Alanna what did you interpret into this?", Lila asks. I look at her sheet. "White stands for purity.", "Ohhh, now I get it!"
She keeps writing.
"Alanna Romanoff, please go to the principals office as soon as possible, we repeat, Alanna Romanoff, please go to the principals office as soon as possible."
My eyes shoot wide open. What did I do again. Everyone's looking at me. I slowly get up. "Here's your hall pass.", my teacher says. "Thanks. ", I say and take it. Then I walk out the room.
It's the first day of school and you're already being called to the principals office. What is wrong with you Alanna?
I enter the office. "They're already waiting for you." , the secretary tells me.
They?
I enter the principals office.
Daniel Barker. What is he doing here? I look to his left and right. His parents are here too. I don't have anything to do with this guy. He's two years older than me. Those are two different worlds. I mean, I look at him sometimes, he never looks back at me though. It's more like an entertainment to me. You know, like a reason to have fun at school.
I look at all of them.
"You're not in trouble miss Romanoff. Sit down please.", the principal tells me pointing at a chair next to Daniels mom. As soon as I sit down she starts talking. "Hey, I'm Rose, Daniels mother."
She shakes my hand. "I'm Alanna.", I answer her confused, looking at every single person in the room.
"Uhm...", she hesitantly starts. "Have you thought about it?"
I Stare at her. Think about what exactly? "We talked about it with your mom in the summer break, she talked to you and you said that you were going to think about it."
OH!
DANIEL! I TOTALLY FORGOT!
They called us to ask if I could tutor him in Maths, English and Spanish.
Mom did ask me. I just said I'd think about it because I was about to go out with Wanda and Lila and they were already waiting for me. I was put under too much pressure!
I can't tell them that I don't want to do it now.
"Please Alanna, it's his last year and your the only one that could help him."
Mom taught me everything I needed to know for high school way to early. That's why she thinks I'm the only one that could help him. I'm only here because mom wants me to interact with kids my age.
Really useless. The only friend I have ist Lila and she's my cousin.
"Yeah, I totally thought about it. I think I'll be able to do it..", I smile as I see their happy faces. Why am I such a people pleaser?
Even Daniel is giving me a thankful look. I smile at him, he smiles back.
"Awesome!", his father now says as he hands me a sheet of paper. "These are the ways you can reach us if you have any questions."
I look at it. A bunch of telephone numbers are written on it.
Yeah no.... I'm definitely not calling there.
"Otherwise I think you'll decide on a date together since only you both know when you're free.", his mother says standing up. I nod still surprised that I'm willingly doing this. "Thanks for your time.", his father says and shakes my hand. So does his wife. Then they leave.
What just happened? I'm already regretting everything I've done today and it's not even 11am.
Why do you have to be this way Alanna?
Why?