My happiness

Weird feelings and positive tests, or maybe not? Pt. 2

Natasha's pov

Bright sunlight shines through Alanna's rooms window. I turn to the opposite side trying to avoid it and keep sleeping, but it's already gotten into me. I open my eyes and start looking for Alanna. She's not laying next to me.
"Good morning mom.", I hear her say. I turn my head to her and realize she's doing her hair and is already fully dressed.
"Are you gonna wear it open?", I ask still half asleep.
"Yes, you like it?", she asks with a smile plastered on her face. "Of course I like it.", I answer.
That's weird.
She wasn't behaving that way yesterday. I don't keep asking further questions because I know it'll be way too much for her if I do so. But I need answers. I know she isn't okay and is acting like she is.
I once was her age too, she's just like me and I'm not liking it.
She enters the bathroom. I can hear her using her make up. "If you want to you can stay here mom, you know, till you go to work. Dad already made us some breakfast."
She wants me to stay in her room!?
Weird.
She exists the bathroom, afterwards taking her school bag and blowing me a kiss.
"Bye mom, see you later."
"Bye cutie have fun!"
She turns around and leaves and Steve comes in.
"Hi honey", he smiles and gives me a gentle kiss on my cheek. "Are you feeling better today?"
I shake my head. "I think I'm staying home today."
He understandingly nods. I slowly get up. "I'll be in our room.", I say. He nods but stops me right before I get the chance to exit the room. "How is she."
I turn around to face him. "Not good."
The worry in his eyes grows. "We can talk to her later when she's back from school.", I purpose. He nods in agreement. "Now go, you're already late."
I Walk towards him and give him a peck on his lips. Then I exit the room.

Alanna's pov

"Alanna, if something happens, you need to promise me that you won't tell anyone if it comes out positive."
I look at Bella who's holding the pregnancy test in her hands. She hasn't taken it yet. She's been too scared for the past 15 minutes. "I promise. Bella when have I told anybody a secret of yours?"
She knows that everything we do together stays between us. Bella looks down at her phone. "He's here."
"Go pee on them or something, I'll go open the door."
She nods and enters the bathroom. I walk down the stairs and open the door. Mike is standing there. „Hi.", I say. He responds the same . "Follow me she's upstairs."
He smiles and enters the house. I like him. He treats Lila right. He doesn't act like an asshole towards her, not even in this situation and that's not something a lot of boys our ages can do. As we enter the room, Lila is already standing there, holding the tests. I look at the way he walks towards her and hugs her and gives her so much comfort, that for a moment I wish I'd have someone to love me that much. I hear the way he keeps reassuring her that no matter what happens they're going to stay together. That makes me happy, because she is happy. Lila looks at the clock, it starts ringing. And all of a sudden we're standing around her trying to look for the results.
Negative.
We all sigh out in relieve. A smile appears on all of our faces. But they soon disappear as we hear mom's voice. "What are you doing here, shouldn't you be in school?"
I quickly take one of Lila's pregnancy tests while Mike is still standing in front of us.
If we get caught then together. I promised her no one would find out.
"What are you doing?"
She starts walking towards us. Then she sees them.
She gives us a quick look then Mike.
"Out.", she says still staring at him. "I suppose you know where the door is."
He quickly nods and gets out.
"What is that?", she asks. Like she doesn't know. "It's nothing mom.", I try to hide the test behind my back. "Give it to me Alanna.", mom demands. She looks at Lila, who's already handing it to her. I stare at her in disbelief. So I do the same. "It's negative anyway so..."
She ignores my statement. "Whose are those?", she asks. Lila and I stay quiet. "Alanna, I swear that if  you don't start talking, I'll ground you for the next month."
My eyes rise in shock. I never get grounded by mom. Dad rarely grounds me and when he does, he's never that serious about it. Mom on the other hand takes that shit more serious than she takes her whole work. I got grounded twice . These were the worst two weeks of my life. I'd much rather have her yell at me like crazy than have her treating me passive aggressively. No phone. No going out. No talking. No nothing.
It was Like I didn't exist for these two weeks.
I'm not telling on Lila though.
"I'll make two months out of it."
We give each other looks again.
"Please promise me you won't tell mom about it...", Lila suddenly admits.
She could've just stayed quiet. I wouldn't have told on her.
I hear mom sigh in relief.
"Mom you really can't tell anybody she'll tell her mom herself.", I lie. Mom looks at Lila. "Promise me you'll tell her?"
Lila nods. We know we're both lying. We've gotten so used to it, that we don't react to it anymore . We just do it. Sometimes we even believe it ourselves...
"But still I think we all should have a little talk."
I sigh. Not that again. I hate it when she wants to have a little talk.
It usually gets pretty embarrassing. "Alright.", Lila says. She doesn't know what she's about to face.
Both of their gazes turn to me. "Alright let's do this.", I finally say.

***

"Do you know now why I hate the talks with my mom?"
Lila and I are laying face up on my bed, both looking at the ceiling. "Yup."
"Are you okay?", I ask and look at her. She nods. "My mom never had that kind of talk with me.", she admits. I keep looking up the ceiling. What she just told me is no surprise to me. Her mom is still grieving over uncle Clint. She hasn't been really aware of what's been happening in Lila's life lately. Well, she hasn't been aware of it  for the last couple of years. That's really sad actually, considering the fact that Lila has been grieving just as much as her and also has been needing the same amount of help. I'm pretty sure they would've dealt with it better if they'd gone through it together.
But they didn't, so here we are.
"I'm kind of glad I'm not pregnant.", she admits. I look at her. I'm glad as well, yet somehow if someone asked me how I'm feeling, I wouldn't know what to answer them. I don't really know how I'm feeling.
It's weird but I truly don't. That happens every time I'm put under a lot of stress. No matter how the problem goes out. Great or bad, I always end up this way.
Confused.
Kind of emotionless.
"I'm glad as well.", I say.
She turns to me. "Thanks for doing this with me."
"You're welcome.", I answer.
My phone vibrating gets my attention. I take a look at it. It's mom telling us to come down for dinner. I keep scrolling down my messages. There's one from Daniel from today.

Hey Alanna, I just wanted to ask you if you're doing ok. It says.

There's another one.

I just noticed you weren't in school today, that's why I'm asking.

I smile at his messages. He's asking if I'm doing ok. That's actually cute.
"Who is it?", I hear Lila ask.
"Mom.", I answer. "She's telling us dinner's ready."
Both of us get up.
And somehow after reading this message I feel like my stomach just flipped. I'm feeling something again. And I don't want those feelings to be gone. It's weird but I want them to stay. I don't want to stop feeling cause they're feeling too good right now.
I want it to go on like this forever.