Dance of Fate

Chapter Forty One

I stared in the mirror for an hour. Stared at the female who I barely recognized. And it wasn't because I had applied cosmetics to my face, the black pigment that thinly lined my eyes bringing out their vibrant violet color, the bit of red on my cheeks making me look flushed.

But because my face was no longer empty. Gone was the terrified child who had emerged after years of being locked away. Gone was the self loathing, lost girl who despised every single part of herself after being forced to do unspeakable things for decades.

I didn't know when, and I wasn't sure how, but at some point in these past few months, the seemingly irreparable void inside me had begun to heal over. And perhaps there were horrors that would always whisper in the back of my mind, memories that would haunt me until my last breath, but for the first time in decades, I felt alive. I looked alive, too.

And when I glared in the mirror at the female dressed in a black gown adorned with thousands of tiny silver gems, a crown fit for any queen atop her raven hair... I no longer feared her. I understood her.

I finally looked away, smoothing the fabric of my magnificent dress. The sleeves were long, though they slung off my shoulders, leaving my collarbones and a bit of cleavage exposed. The bodice was almost completely covered in jewels, and they continued down the skirts until they faded into bare fabric that pooled around my feet.

As I admired its beauty, I thought it looked like a night sky filled with stars. Which was precisely why I had chosen it.

With one last look in the mirror, I winnowed to the House of Wind. I was later than I realized, because the House was completely packed. Picking up my train of skirts, I walked through the front door.

Familiar faces greeted me warmly, the citizens of Velaris I had come to get to know, and I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I made my way through the House. Yet there was one face I longed to see the most, that I could not find.

"There you are," I turned to see Mor smiling at me. She brushed a strand of golden hair back as she looked me up and down. "No wonder it took you so long to get ready." She said with a wink.

I smiled at her, then at Feyre, who stood beside the blonde female. She too looked exquisite, her gown just as adorned as mine. "I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing Starfall for the first time." I said to her as a way of greeting.

"No one's told me what to expect," she said.

"Me neither."

Mor clasped her hands together. "You won't be disappointed." She assured us. Feyre and I swapped glances.

Mor said something to her, and I lost focus as the females spoke amongst themselves. My attention shifted to the crowd. Though Azriel wouldn't be in the crowd- he'd be in a dark corner, observing, half covered in shadows.

But my eyes did not find hazel ones. Instead, they found ones of a rich violet. "Looking for someone?" Rhys purred. I was about to scowl at him- but not tonight. Tonight I had promised myself to right the many wrongs I had done to the people I loved. My brother seemed a good place to start.

Rhysand's face softened as he saw the contemplation on my face. I took a breath, swallowing my pride, forcing it deep within me.

"I don't want to fight with you." I breathed. Rhysand blinked, the only sign of surprise he would show.

"I don't want to fight with you, either." He said gently.

I shook my head softly. "I'm sorry for keeping so much from you. You've only ever been there for me, and... you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry." My voice was barely more than a whisper as I said the words, the truths that I had owed him for so long.