OH! DARLING | joey tribbiani

three

"No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger," Monica demonstrated to Joey, Ross, Quinn and Chandler.

The boys all started measuring the distance between their two fingers, Quinn joining in as well for the fun.

"That's ridiculous," Joey blurted after a moment.

"Can I use either thumb?" Ross asked.

"I don't know where you've heard that Mon but from where I'm from, you can tell by the size of a guy's feet," Quinn said, causing her guy friends to now analyze the size of their feet.

Joey huffed. "That's even more ridiculous."

The conversation was cut short by Rachel arriving with the friends' drinks.

"Alright, don't tell me. Don't tell me. Decaf cappuccino for Joey. Coffee, black. Latte. An iced tea. And a raspberry tea for Quinn," the waitress handed out the drinks one by one. "I'm getting pretty good at this!"

"Excellent." "Good job." Her friends congratulated her.

Ross, Chandler, Joey and Monica all exchanged their drinks once Rachel was gone as Quinn sipped on her raspberry tea. "At least she got mine right," the redhead mumbled.

Phoebe joined them shortly after, nestling between Ross and Quinn on the couch, seeming to be having a conversation with herself.

"You okay Phoebe?" Joey tentatively questioned.

That snapped the blonde back to earth. "Yeah, no, I'm just... It's not, it's not even worth it. It's my bank."

"What did they do to you?" Monica leaned over towards her friend in concern.

"It's not, it's just... Okay." Phoebe debated with herself before deciding to tell her friends what happened. "I'm going through my mail and I open up their monthly, you know, statement-"

"Easy, easy," Ross calmed her down as she pronounced the last word with rage ready to be unleashed.

Phoebe took a second to recollect herself before continuing. "And there's 500 extra dollars in my account."

"Oh! Satan's minions at work again," Chandler commented then left to go add milk to his coffee.

"Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there and deal with them," Phoebe explained her annoyance.

"What are you talking about? Keep it!" Joey told his friend.

"It's not mine! I didn't earn it. If I kept it, it would be like stealing."

"Yeah but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!" Rachel argued.

"To be fair Pheebs, the banks and government already steal enough of our money so what's 500 missing dollars gonna do to them, eh?" Quinn joined in.

Ross stared at the redhead in disagreement but Phoebe started talking again before he could argue Quinn's claim.

"Okay, okay. Let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear with every step I took? Not mine, not mine, not mine. And even if I was happy, okay? And, and skipping, I'd hear not-not mine, not-not mine."

"We're with you," Monica stopped her, "we got it."

Quinn's attention got pulled away from the conversation as she felt Chandler lean closely behind her and the couch after coming back with his coffee. She looked at him in confusion.

Monica also noticed him and asked. "Chandler, what are you doing?" She got up and pulled him straight back up. "Hey, what are you doing?"

Chandler stared at her and the rest of his friends cluelessly, gesturing with his hands that he was innocent, until he couldn't hold it in anymore and puffed cigarette smoke out of his mouth.