OH! DARLING | joey tribbiani

forty seven

Monica unlocked the door of her apartment after coming back from another date with Pete where she felt no attraction to him whatsoever, to find Phoebe, Ross and Chandler in her living room while Quinn sat at the kitchen table with her feet propped up on a chair.

"Hello people who do not live here," the brunette sarcastically remarked but her sarcasm was ignored by her friends who greeted her. Monica couldn't be mad at them though, she loved that her apartment was where they liked to hang out. "I gave you a key for emergencies," she still told them.

"We were out of Doritos," Phoebe answered.

"Rachel said I could use her navy blue nail polish," Quinn said while using a random magazine to fan the nail polish on her toes dry.

"Hey, how'd the date go with Mr. Millionaire?" Ross changed the subject of the conversation to something more interesting.

"Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings, third wife sold separately," Chandler joked in a voice like the ones you hear in TV ads.

"He's great," Monica answered as she joined the others in her living room. "I mean, we have such a good time together. He's so funny and so sweet and I'm not attracted to him at all!" She finished in frustration.

"Still?" Quinn asked, standing up from her seat at the kitchen table to lean on the back of the couch.

"No! It's driving me crazy," Monica confirmed, defeatedly. "In every other way, he's like the perfect guy. He has everything. Plus, he actually has everything."

"Life-sized imperial Storm Troopers from Sharper Image?" Chandler tested her.

"Two," the brunette confirmed, holding two fingers up.

"Wow, can Joey and I put them on and fight?" Chandler sat up straight in his seat, humour gone from his body.

Right then, Joey barged in the apartment, looking more than happy.

"Oh mommy! Oh daddy! I am a big old baddy!" He sang enthusiastically and clapped his hands before picking up Quinn and throwing her over his shoulder without breaking his stride. "Oh mommy! Oh daddy! I am a big old baddy!" He circled around the kitchen table and left the apartment with Quinn, closing the door behind him.

The four remaining friends shared amused but confused looks between each other.

"I guess he must have gotten the part in that play," Ross said.

"Urgh, that means they're having celebratory sex," Chandler winced in realization. "Well, it looks like I won't be going home for a while." He got himself comfortable on the armchair again.

__________

"I hate this woman. I hate her!" Joey complained to Quinn after coming back from his first rehearsal. "She told everyone in the company about the infomercial and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks, okay, and whenever I can't do it, they're all like laughing at me!"

"Aw pet, I'm sorry," Quinn left her stove where she was making fettuccine alfredo to comfort her boyfriend. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rose on the tip of her toes to peck his lips.

"She's not taking me seriously because I did that infomercial and was on a soap opera," he continued venting and Quinn let him. After all, he had done the same for her more than a couple of times. "She was all like 'oh, this must be nice for you to be in a real play', as if I haven't been in a real play before!"

"She sounds like a stuck up bitch to me," the redhead said and detached herself from her boyfriend to stir the pasta that was boiling in a pot.

"I can't believe I have to go on that stage and play her husband," Joey scoffed, crossing his now unoccupied arms over his chest.