OH! DARLING | joey tribbiani

eleven

Ross and the girls were sitting at Central Perk, hiding from the cold outside that last night's snowstorm brought with it.

"So I don't know whether he's testing me or just acting out but my monkey is out of control," Ross finished explaining to his friends.

"Or maybe, and hear me out, a monkey isn't supposed to be living in an apartment in New York City," Quinn argued.

Ross silently glared at her for a second before starting talking again. "I doubt it's that, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, supposedly by accident."

"Oh yeah, I've done that," Rachel commented, this time being the one on the receiving end of Ross' glare.

"And then," Ross continued like she didn't speak, "for like, three days in a row, he-he got to the newspaper before I did and peed all over the crossword."

"I've never done that," Rachel said.

"So your monkey can't be acting out due to the environment he lives in because his acting out is personally targeting you?" Quinn tried to understand Ross' logic.

"Exactly," the man confirmed in all seriousness.

"You sure they gave the PhD to the right person?" The redhead teased him.

Before Ross could argue back, Joey and Chandler made their entrance, greeting everyone.

"Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today?" Joey asked the blonde.

"Ooh! Oh, fun! Okay, um... Liam Neeson?" Phoebe guessed.

"No."

"Morley Safer?"

"No."

"The woman who cuts my hair?"

"No."

"Okay! Look, this could be a really long game," Monica interrupted the two.

"Your sister, Ursula," Chandler told her.

Phoebe's joyful mood changed to an unbothered one. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah, she works over at that place, uh–"

"Riff's. Yeah, I know," Phoebe cut him off.

"Oh, you do? Because she said you guys haven't talked in like, years," Chandler said.

"Mmhmm, yeah," she agreed with his statement. "So, um, is she fat?"

"Not from where I was standing," Joey replied, the tone he used making Quinn scrunch her face in slight disgust. She was already aware of Phoebe's relationship with her twin sister and if Joey was going to go after her, it was sure to turn all messy and hurt their blonde friend in the end.

"Uh, Pheebs? So you guys just don't get along?" Rachel asked.

"It's mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know." Phoebe explained. "I mean, like everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know, and... Oh! Oh! She was the first one to start walking even though I did it later that same day, but to my parents by then it was like "yeah right, what else is new?"."

Ross jumped from his seat, slightly scaring Quinn in the process. "Oh! Pheebs, I'm sorry, I've got to go, I've got Lamaze class."

"Oh, and I've got earth science but I'll catch you in gym?" Chandler joked.

"So is this just gonna be you and Carol?" Rachel asked the soon-to-be father.

"No, Susan's going to be there too," Ross replied. "We've got dads, we've got lesbians, the whole parenting team."