I Hope This Isn't Real

put on a smile

Y/N POV:
I had my legs wrapped around him. I went to get off of him, but he held me tight. He thrusted in me harder each time. I just wanted to scream, but I was mute. He looked at me to see that I wasn't saying anything.

I unwrapped my legs, and he put me down. I couldn't stand up on how much pain I was in. He walked over the wall across from me and called up Tom. I looked up at Bill to see the Sadisfactoin in his eyes when he looked at me. He walked over to me and lifted up my head. "Come on, get dressed. Tom is on his way." He said as he put down my head.

He grabbed me by my waist and got me dressed. Tom showed up around the corner. "Damn man, you got her to her knees, and she can't walk." Tom said as I got in the car.

He sped away. I opened my door and tried to stand but clapsed, I got up again and just pushed myself to walk. I got to the door, I could only make it to the fort and just clapsed to the ground.

I lay in the fort and just stared at the roof. I wonder if I just put on a smile but actually not putting one on.

I tried standing up again, I got up, and I walked over the kitchen to grab a fnife out.

I walked down the hall and went into my room. I went to the corner facing the door for the people who were going to come in and see me.

I took the fnife and thought what else could I do. My whole body was torn up. My legs,chest,stomach,throat,and wrists. So I will just do my face.

I held up the fnife to my mouth where when I smiled, I dragged it across before stabbing it into my left side of my face.

This shit burns, but it is worth it. I cut across the right side of my mouth.

I took the dripped blood from my mouth and took my finger, I standed up to see the wall, and I dragged it across to make a writing on the wall. I wrote "suicide wall." I put on the wall with a bloody hand print dripping.

I walked out of the room and put the fnife on the kitchen table with a chunk of my skin on the end on the fnife just for Tom and Bill. I was walking down the hall and decided to make bloody fingerprints on the wall leading to my room. I walked into my room and turned on the lamp, and just Sat, there was facing the door with blood dripping on the outfit and floor.

I heard a bedroom door open, I just sat there in my own world. I heard two people walking down the wall where I left the blood prints. I saw my door flung open to see Tom holding the fnife. "Bill, don't come in here." Tom said as he directed Bill to go away from the door. "WHY Y/N?" He said in a concerned voice.

"I just thought I needed to smile more, so here we are." I standed up. I walked past Tom to out of the room. I saw Bill sitting at the table. I kept my head down. "What did you cut now?" He asked before lifting my head up. "Holy shi-shit." He said as he started gauging.

Bill ran to Tom, which was in my room. "She drew on the walls suicide wall." Tom said as he dropped the fnife. I ran up to the fnife and grabbed it. I took it to cause more pain. I ran it across again the cut it open more. I put the fnife up to my leg and gashed it open then my next. "I am just going all crazy, like you said last night. I can commit suicide after the fun here I am now." I said to myself out loud. Tom ran and held my hands, and then I dropped the fnife. I smiled at them wickedly with blood filling my mouth.

I started coughing blood out. "Next is my eyes." Tom lost my hands, and I picked up the fnife and cut the bottom of my eyes and dragged it down the cut on my mouth. Bill took the fnife out of my hands, and he took it and put it on the table. Tom pushed me to the floor and sat on me. "Shit, watch out for the cuts on my legs." I said as I started moving Tom off of me. He stopped my legs from moving. " Let me go, Tom. Bill said I could commit after the fun you heard him." I said to him in a deep voice. He looked at he with worry. "Really, Bill, she is going to kill herself," he forgot he was holding me down and got up to talk to Bill face to face.

"I didn't really think she would try to kill herself." He said as he rolled his eyes. I grabbed the fnife and held it to my neck, ready to slide it. "She is going to end up in the hospital and most likely die." Tom said as he started shoving Bill. Bill pushed him back. "STOP pushing me Tom, I know she won't kill herself she is all talk."Don't you see all the marks on her she is trying to kill herself." Tom screamed at Bill. You can see Bill's angry. "This is a pretty good argument, but my time is al most up." I said, looking at them. They didn't notice I was put with the fnife. "We will just talk to her. She won't actually do it. She wants to go back to her sister and mother." Bill said as he walked to the front door. "It is my time to go." I said as i slid my neck open, then my wrists to make the dying progress go faster.

"Shit, there she Go's, Bill get the car ready." Was the only thing I heard before I went away.

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