Reality in the blink of an eye (Hotchner/Caderton) (Reid/Sinclair)

Chapter 33. Therapy

She walked to the entrance of the building and reached the floor of her therapist, which she was seeing for the past three weeks. Emilia walked to the door with the sign „Dr. Arthur Larson" and knocked on it.

„Come in" – The voice from the other side said, so she did and walked in.

„Hello" – Emilia said, he raised his eyes at her and smiled.

„Good day Dr. Sinclair, please sit down where you'll be comfortable" – He said, pointed to the chair and to the couch for her to choose. She chose the couch. There was a deadly silence for a couple minutes, until Dr. Larson decided to start the conversation.

„We've met two days ago...tell me what did you do in that period of time?" – He said and got ready to write some important remarks in his notebook.

„....Nothing" – She answered without looking at him. He lowered his pen and raised eyes on her again.

„Doing nothing is still doing something...Human beings always tend do something, even tho they think they do nothing...so what is that something you did Dr. Sinclair?" – He asked with his calm, low, therapeutic voice, that makes you relaxed, like listening to the ASMR late at night.

„I stayed at home in my bed, just like the day before" – She answered to him.

„Thinking about?..." – He tried to make her continue to talk, to slowly, step by step open up to him.

„...Nothing" – She answered again, he smiled softly.

„Like I said before...nothing is still something and something can be described and named if you'll find the right words, so what were you thinking about, when you layed in the bed Dr. Sinclair?...Take your time to answer." – He asked her softly, not wanting to push her too fastly, doing pauses to let her choose if she wants to open up. She stayed quiet, he didn't say a word too, patiently waiting.

„...About my life" – She answered after a while. He raised his eyes and looked at her.

„What thoughts don't give you peace?" – He asked her calmly, she smiled sarcastically.

„What thoughts do?" – She asked him, he kept his soft stare.

„You tell me...when does your mind give you peace?" – Dr. Larson asked.

„...Never." – She answered, he smiled softly.

„I don't think that it's true and somewhere, deeply inside you know that, even if you don't want to admit it yet...You wouldn't be here Dr. Sinclair,  if you wouldn't have at least a moment of peace in your mind. That moment brought you here...you felt peace and happiness and it felt so good, that it made you want to feel that way all the time, which led you coming here to me." – He explained, took a breath in and continued.

„I don't want you to feel pressured to open up to me...I want you to feel the need to do so, because you want to do so...We don't need to rush into things, you can take as much time as you need to feel comfortable of talking...but you came here and it tells me, that you want to help yourself, that you still care and that you're not giving up, which is the most important thing." – He ended his sentence, she thought about every word he said.

„Feel free to to say no, if you don't want to answer, but I want to rephrase my last question to you." – He said and waited for her to say anything, but she stayed quiet, so he continued.

„When was the last moment, when you felt calm?" – He asked, she started thinking.

„Comforted...the time when you felt, that everything will be okay, that you'll be okay, that you can be happy again?" – He explained it more widely to her and it clicked. She remembered the exact moment, when she felt that, he noticed, that she did and gave her time to consider if she wants to talk about it or not, in his own surprise, she did.