ps: I still love you ♡

10. The truth

Becky's pov

Me and Freen decided to go to the beach. Because it was nearby and we can have a good talk there without anyone interrupting us.

She was fidgeting with her fingers and taking heavy sighs

"So what do you wanna talk" i asked

"I wanna talk about what happened two years ago. And I know you have a lot of questions but I'll answer all of your questions after telling everything " she said and i nodded

"I was there in the cafe when you were singing the song for Mon. You didn't see me cause we were sitting in a corner. I thought you were confessing to her. It broke my heart. " She said and wiped a tear that escaped her eyes.

"It's not-" she didn't let me finish

"I know, just hear me out. Let me finish I've been bottling this up for 2 years. Give me some time to finish" she said and i nodded my head

"So when you were singing, Heidi was drooling over you. Meena said that this kind of relationship won't work. And so more. I couldn't stand there anymore I was having anxiety attacks. So I went outside. I was sitting in the park and crying and seng came"she stopped and looked at me. I was clenching my fits. She took my hand in hers

"Seng made me relax, when the others came he was leaving. Then p'build suddenly tried to confess and Seng stopped him. Seng was asking for a chance. Then you and your gang came to the park. You guys were talking and laughing and making fun of Mon. I thought you guys were already a couple. Jealousy took over me and I said yes to him. That's the moment you saw me. I saw the pain in your eyes. After that i left the place cause i couldn't stand the pain. When i reached home i got a text from ice" she said and relaxed her body on the passenger seat. Why did ice texted her

"Ice send me the video of you singing. You told me that ice will send me something and she did. When I saw the video I was feeling hurt again. You were happy with them. Then i heard you saying it's for p'sam. After that I've heard all the confession. And I know i messed up.  I tried to reach you to explain whatever happened. But you didn't pick up. Then suddenly you picked but but it was not you...." She said and looked at me. Who else???

"It was Irin. She was mad. I know she has every right to be mad me. I broke your heart. She said not to contact you again and ended the call. Then I called seng to talk but he begged me not to change my word. Then i thought I will talk to him face to face. But I've never got a chance to be alone with him to have this talk. " She tightened the grip on my hands.

"I waited for you everyday, in the academy you never came. After a month i stopped going there. It was difficult for me too. Then one day I heard seng, Meena and Heidi taking. They plalnned everything. They forced me to say yes by weakening me by emotionally. They did everything to get into my head and they did. Heidi knew about us. Heidi plalnned this to get you and make us seperate and they got what they wanted" she said released my hands

"After that i confronted them and i ended everything. Seng was persistent, he said he did all of this because he loves me. But it was not love, if he ever loved me he wouldn't have done this. I've never went to school after that. I only went to attend exams. After final exam I decided to leave the country and be with Nam. She was the one I could trust that time. My parents were ok with that" she said and waited me for me say smtg

I was still processing everything. I don't know what to feel anymore. "I left you because I was the reason for your pain. Even if I stayed i would be lost as hell. And I came to see you before I went to England. You were happy even though your smile didn't reach your ears. I saw you kissing another women. I thought you moved on. And it was hurting me a lot to stand there. I left because I wanted to feel better. " She said....

"So this all happened because you were jealous and insecure " i asked

"Yes kind of" she said

"I'm sorry but I don't know what to say to you" i said

"It's ok I just wanted to explain what happened" she said

"I need time to prosess this. I know this isn't your fault entirely. Even though i need time to process all of this information" I said and she nodded

"So what's with the dreams you have been having" i asked. I was curious

"Oh that, even though i left this place. My heart didn't stop beating for you. Af first I was little dipressed at that time. And started to have this dream about you. Like after i explained everything to you you left me. You said I hurted you and left you and don't want me anymore. It's true though I did those all but it affected me and i kept having this nightmares" she said

"Why did you come back" i asked

"So this nightmares didn't help me sleep at all. At first alcohol helped a lot. When I joined college, i started doing drugs. And Nam's parents are already back in Thailand and Nam and my parents were worried about me. So they took me back here. More like they dragged me, I didn't have any choice" she said

"Oh" that's all that came from my mouth

"Its not like I don't wanna come here. But I didn't had any courage to face you after everything I put you through." She said and smiled bitterly

"So you just party and hookup with anyone there" I asked. Cause I saw her kissing a man at the party

"Not hookup, I can't do more than kissing. Actually I can't even kiss anyone properly" she said

"Liar i saw you kissing someone" I said and scoffed

"Well you also should have saw me pushing that person? " She asked and i nodded "yes, I do kiss back but not more some seconds. Because after some seconds I realise that I'm not kissing you it's someone else so I will push that person " she said. And I was little bit happy but i didn't show it.

"Okay" I said

"I'm sorry, I've heard about your dad and mom" she said and a tear escaped her eyes. "I should've been there for you. If I wasn't that stupid enough to believe whatever they said we wouldn't be like this. I'm sorry BB" she said.

"Its not your fault. And mom is ok now" I said and wiped her tears

"How are you feeling now" i asked

"Better after I said everything to you. It's the 2nd time I'm feeling better after 2 years" she said

"When was the first time" I asked

"Oh that was 6 months after i reached England. I was always sad and depressed my mom and dad visited me every week to make sure I was ok. And one day they asked me about what was happening. And I told them the story about you and how we ended and about my so called friends" she said and smiled

"How did they take it" i asked

"Scolded me for being stupid and trusting too much. Then the-" I didn't let her finish

"Not that bunny, what did they say after you came out to them" i asked.

Sfe smiled, a genuine one. "Oh , first they were shocked then they were like they will support me with whoever I want to be with. And asked me to make sure the person I chose will love me and take care of me that's all" she said

I hugged her "I'm so happy for you. You were so afraid to come out because you thought your parents won't accept who you are. But I'm glad they took a positive way" I said and broke the hug. It was awkward for some moment

"Let's go they will be waiting for us" I said

"Wait, I'm glad that you are happy. And glad you found a person who won't be a coward like me. And please start to play again. Don't quit" she said and smiled

Wait who is the person that I found. I wanted to ask more but my phone started to ring and I knew that would be our friends so we left there.

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Author's note

Who could be that someone special. Any guesses???