The Scorch (a sequel to The Maze)

Scars

⚠️TW⚠️ this chapter does mention SH, attempted suicide, knives, depression and scars. Skip if you would like to, the part is marked with ~~ for when the mentions of SH starts and ends. Read at your own risk

The impact had knocked the wind out of me so when I woke back up I couldn't breathe for a minute or so. 

"Jane?" Brenda asked when I woke back up. 

I couldn't speak so I just nodded. 

"Oh thank God, I thought you'd died." Brenda said. 

After a minute or so I got my breath back. 

"Phew, holy shit, how am I still alive?" I asked looking at my hands and legs. 

"No clue, guess even death can't stop you." Brenda said with a small chuckle.

"Yep, me and death have like this rivalry, tries to take me, but I'm too badass for him." I said jokingly. We laughed. 

I felt something sharp in my arm and my back. I looked at my arm and noticed there were bandages on it and I could feel some on my back too. 

"What-?" I started. 

"You fell on some broken glass, it was pretty deep but I got 90% of it out and bandaged you up, itll definitely leave a scar but you should be okay." Brenda interrupted me. 

"Nice, scars are cool. Hurts like a bitch tho." I said wincing slightly. 

"First scar ever, very cool." Brenda said. 

"Mmmm no, not the first scar." I said as she helped me up. 

"What do you mean?" She asked. 

"I got one on my thigh and a few on my other wrist." I said showing her. 

"You-your wrist?" She asked. 

"Yeh, its from when wicked did tests on me, they'd stick me with a whole bunch of needles and other things when I wasn't aware." I said reassuring her. 

"Oh, ook I was really worried, I thought...um nevermind." She said looking down. 

"Thought i cut myself?" I asked. 

"Yeh.. sorry" she said quietly. 

"It's okay, but uhm no it's not, thought about it once, almost did, but Minho helped me through it." I said remembering. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything was so overwhelming that day. I was feeling depressed all the time lately and really wasn't sure what to do. So I decided to do the only thing that I thought would fix it. To end it. I was sitting inside the map room, having another breakdown for the 4th time that week. I felt so alone and worthless and didn't want to do anything anymore. I was so tired of putting on a fake smile for everyone all day everyday. It was so tiring especially when inside I was breaking. Sitting on the ground in the corner I saw a knife sitting on a box. With shaking hands I grabbed it. I held it in my hand for a moment with tears still streaming down my face. I held the knife above my wrist and just as I was about to press down Minho came in from running. He heard me before he saw me. 

"Jane..?" He asked. I didnt respond. 

He called my name again sounding worried. He turned the corner and saw me sitting in the corner with the knife.

"Jane!" He gasped and immediately dropped and took the knife from me. I opened my eyes and looked at him, eyes full of tears. My lip quivered and I looked down as more tears spilled down my face. 

He didn't say anything but just held me while I cried. When I stopped crying, or was crying less, he talked and I listened. 

"I'm not sure why you were going to do this, and I'm sure you had a reason, but whatever that reason is, isn't enough to do something like this. There is no reason that is enough to do this. You are loved by all of us as you love all of us too. You shouldn't do this no matter what happens. If someone tells you that no one cares or that you aren't enough or anything like that, you come to me and tell me. Don't do this, this shouldn't ever be something that comes across your mind as a way to deal with it. You are enough and would be missed so very much. Plus who would tease me about my hair?" He said, the last part with a small chuckle, causing me to also chuckle a little bit. 

"Ye-yeh, your right it's just really hard, I feel like everyone hates me because I feel like the others that were friends with Ben blame me for what happened." I said sniffling. 

"It wasn't your fault, you faught for yourself and good thing you did. The others that were friends with Ben aren't the best at grief. It's not easy when you lose someone you care about. I was friends with Ben, but I don't blame you one bit, it wasn't anyone's fault it just happened. I wish you had come to me and told me about all of this before you decided to do this tho. I'm here for whenever you need me, always." He said. 

I just looked up at him and smiled a small smile. We sat like that for a while more until I said something. 

"Minho?" I asked. 

"Hmm?" He asked. 

"Don't tell newt about this? Please?" I asked him. 

"Tell him what?" He said with an understanding smile. I smiled back. 

"Thank you." I said

"Anytime." He said. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Jane?" Brenda asked waving her hand Infront of my face.

"Hmmm?" I asked.

"You kinda spaced out." She said. 

"Oh, sorry, just, nevermind forget it, it's nothing." I said smiling slightly to myself. 

"Mmmk, well we should keep going, I know a way we can go where we can hopefully find Jorge and your friends." She said. 

"Alright, lead the way." I said and we started walking.