Furciferous || Soukoku

46|| A Light In The Dark

Hello! 

Welcome to the first update of 2024! I hope you all will have an amazing year! 

2023 was too bad for me for some reasons... 

Anyway, it is past! 

So I should look towards the future now! 

I guess there is no need for this chapter. It is just hurt/comfort and fluffy lmao!

Still, I want to tell the thing I always say. I won't tolerate any kind of hate comments or insults!  

I hope you enjoy the chapter ^-^! 

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What was the pain in Ryuunosuke's life which made him want to put everything to an end? Atsushi himself hadn't experienced the best life either, but he still couldn't understand. To him, there was nothing more beautiful than living. He just couldn't fathom why someone would take their own life when there were still so many reasons to keep living. He didn't know why Ryuunosuke wanted to end it all.

Ryuunosuke looked up at Atsushi in shock. He definitely hadn't expected Atsushi to call him an idiot, but at the same time, he felt somewhat relieved which was weird enough. He knew Atsushi cared about him enough to be bluntly honest with him. He was still upset but he felt a bit better being able to talk through his feelings with Atsushi.

"Maybe you are right." Ryuunosuke said softly. Tears were welling up in his eyes. "I'm an idiot... Thank you for being so honest with me..."

Atsushi looked away, feeling a little embarrassed from the emotion he was showing through. He still wasn't used to expressing his feelings but he was glad that he could be there on time to save Ryuunosuke. He hugged the other male close, rubbing his back in a comforting gesture.

"It's okay." He whispered. "We are all idiots sometimes." 

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"Idiot." Atsushi grunted as he was drying Ryuunosuke's hair. He didn't understand why Ryuunosuke wanted to commit suicide.

He couldn't comprehend why his lover would have any reason to do something so drastic. He knew that Ryuunosuke had been in a fairly dark place lately, but it still didn't make any sense to him. All Atsushi knew was... He had taken Ryuunosuke out of that cold, murky water and now he was in his arms... It had scared him... Losing Ryuunosuke had scared him...

He finished drying Ryuunosuke's hair and began to comb it out. He took his time making sure to be gentle with his tangles. As he did so, his thoughts drifted to the future. Would Ryuunosuke ever be okay? Would he be able to move past this issue? Questions swarmed in his head, but he had no answers. All he could do was be there for his lover and hope for the best.

"I'm sorry." Ryuunosuke whispered suddenly.

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean any of this to happen." Atsushi replied with a soft voice, continuing to run the comb through his lover's hair.

Ryuunosuke chuckled lightly. "Don't worry, I'm not going to do it again. I'm better now. I learned my lesson."

Atsushi sighed, relieved that Ryuunosuke was in a better state of mind. "You better not do it again. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you..."

Atsushi never thought suicide is a sign of weakness and he had to admit, he was scared when he read the texts from Ryuunosuke. He knew he couldn't let his lover do something so drastic. So he had to be there for his lover to help him get through it.

Ryuunosuke smiled warmly, touched deeply by Atsushi's words. "Don't worry. I'm never going to go that far again. I promise."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Atsushi finally broke the silence. "Let's make a promise." He said softly. "That no matter what life throws at us, we will always be there for each other."

Ryuunosuke looked up at his lover and smiled. His eyes were misting. "I promise."

Sure, Ryuunosuke hated his life, but it was still his life. Everyone had a bit of hardships in their life and Ryuunosuke should have kept strong and kept living. Feeling Ryuunosuke shift, Atsushi smiled and leaned closer to lightly plant a kiss on Ryuunosuke's forehead.

"We will get through this, I'm here for you. Just don't do anything reckless again, okay?" Atsushi said, smiling gently as he rested his forehead against Ryuunosuke's. 

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Atsushi thought he could talk Ryuunosuke out of it now. He had been hesitating to ask Ryuunosuke what was wrong for the past hour.

Ryuunosuke chuckled lightly as if he had heard Atsushi's thoughts. "No need to hesitate, Atsushi. I know it is not the best solution, but I still believe this is the right thing to do." He was smiling, but his voice was not cheerful.

Atsushi looked up. "Why? What is so wrong with your life that you can't find a better way to deal with it?" He finally asked, mustering enough courage.

Ryuunosuke sighed deeply. "It's complicated. I feel like my life has been a series of mistakes and now I'm so far down the rabbit hole that there is no way out."

Atsushi shook his head. "That's not true. We all make mistakes, but that doesn't mean that they are the end of the world. You still have the chance to turn things around if you just believe in yourself."

Ryuunosuke smiled at Atsushi. "You are right. Thanks."

"It was not really a smart move..." Atsushi said with a soft tone. He wrapped his arms around Ryuunosuke and held him close, aware of his fragile state. "You don't have to suffer alone. I'm here for you no matter what."

"I'm really sorry." Ryuunosuke said. He was still trying to wrap his around what he just did. He didn't know why he felt so desperate but all he knew was that he had to do something drastic. Even if that meant risking, even taking, his own life.

"You have nothing to be sorry about love." Atsushi whispered into his ear. "I'm just glad that you are safe."

"Thank you." Ryuunosuke said again and sighed deeply, melting into Atsushi's embrace. He was so relieved to feel the warmth of another human being and he knew that Atsushi was really the only person he could turn to.

Atsushi had made it his personal mission to save the love of his life and keep him safe from all the dangers of this world. So far, he had succeeded but he was also determined to keep at it until his mission was complete.

He wanted to protect this fragile young man. Atsushi promised to himself that he would try to make Ryuunosuke happy and also to make him understand the importance of the life.

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I will update 4 more chapters ^-^. 

If you love my story, please stay tuned ^-^!