Furciferous || Soukoku

56|| Grasping For A Faint Light Of Hope

Hello :3! 

How are you all?

I hope you all are good ^-^! 

Sorry for not being able to update yesterday T^T! 

Also I decided I will update 1 chapter every day from now on, because I'm writing chapter 85 right now and if I publish 5 chapter every day, I will make you wait you all. And my goal is updating every day this year. 

But today I will make a double update as a make up to lack of update yesterday. 

Note: Natsuki is Jouno's younger brother. I will try to find a picture of him or will draw him lmao! 

Warning! 

This chapter contains mentions of past child abuse! If you are uncomfortable with it, please don't read the chapter! I won't tolerate any kind of hate comments or insults! 

If you decide to read anyway, enjoy ^-^! 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

Natsuki was walking on the street aimlessly. His shoulder was hanging in an unnatural angle and his face was covered with cuts and bruises. Since his older brother, Jouno, left the house his parents' abuse became worse than ever.

Natsuki couldn't forgive Jouno for leaving the house and leaving him to deal with their parents' abuse alone.

At that moment, Natsuki was feeling like he was about to collapse in any moment and he was breathing heavily at every little move.

He was thinking, recalling Jouno's words which he said when the last time he saw him. "Just stay strong a little longer, Natsuki! I will be back for you as soon as possible!" How long he was supposed to? More importantly... How was he supposed to stay strong?

He didn't care about his injuries anymore. It was like he wasn't even feeling the pain of them. His skin was numb to the outside world and his mind was in trance. He just wanted to escape and somehow forget everything, but he didn't know what to do. He walked for hours, not daring to look anywhere but at his feet. He just kept walking until he stumbled upon a small park.

Natsuki looked around and noticed the swings, slides and even a merry-go-round. His mind was quickly brought back to his childhood, when Jouno would take him to the park on the weekends as a secret from their parents. Natsuki could faintly remember the laughter of playing tag, racing on the swings and riding the merry-go-round together... His heart began to swell with a warmth that he had not felt in years.

He slowly made his way to the merry-go-round and sat down. He couldn't help but smile as the memories of his brother flooded back.

Natsuki, then, saw a little girl walking in there. He felt a strange feeling in his chest. It was like curiousity and envy mixed together. He followed her from a distance and watched her for a few minutes. Everything he saw made him calm and peaceful.

The little girl was smiling and playing around with a few little kittens. Natsuki felt a sting of sadness, wishing he could enjoy life like she could but he knew it would never be possible as long as he stayed in that house. He continued watching her from afar until she eventually left with her happy kittens.

Natsuki clawed at his chest, feeling the raw sadness inside him, but he also felt something else, a small shred of hope which was buried deep within him. He began to think that maybe life didn't have to be so bleak and hard. Maybe he too one day could feel that same sense of contentment which he saw in the little girl.

He then clutched the necklace which his brother left for him and felt a wave of warmth wrap around him. In that moment, he made a promise to himself that, with or without Jouno's help, he would find a better life. He knew he had to work and fight for it, but he also knew it was possible and he was willing to do whatever it took.

Natsuki walked out of the park with determination in his eyes and with a new purpose, never to look back.

After his injuries were treated he went back to home, havin nowhere else to go. His mother crossed her arms. "Where have you been, Natsuki?"

Natsuki hung his head and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "I got lost." He mumbled.

"I see and you decided to wander around and not contact anyone?" She raised her hand to slap Natsuki, but luckily, she lowered her hand down.

She then sighed. "Well then, it's lucky that you eventually made it back home safe." Even though her voice was soft, it was more like a threat. She then turned around walked into her room.

Natsuki slowly made his way to his room, being careful not to get caught by his father. Because he knew he wouldn't let Natsuki go to his room in peace like his mother did.

He needed to stay quiet as to not wake him.

He definitely didn't want to be punished by his father

Once he arrived there, however, he immediately felt a sense of security. The walls were much softer than his father's critical gaze; the pillows and bed sheets were comforting him from the wait of the world outside.

Natsuki laid down in his bed, closing his eyes and allowing himself to escape the reality of his parents. The warm blankets cocooned him, covering him from his own anxious thoughts. Resting his head on the pillow, he drifted off a peaceful sleep, knowing that he could leave the tension of reality behind, even if it was only for a few hours...

The night passed with relatively ease as Natsuki enjoyed the serenity that came from peaceful sleep. He awoke refreshed a little bit and invigorated, feeling as if the previous problems of the day were a distant memory. He took a deep breath, allowing himself to get out of the bed and start a new day. He put on some warm clothes and headed out the door, feeling brave enough to tackle the day ahead.

As soon as he got out of the room, he faced with his father who ignored him as always. He literally did nothing but giving Natsuki condescending look.

Natsuki was used to this kind of treatment so he didn't really care and simply ignored his father's cold attitude. He just kept walking until he was out of his father's side. After all he knew that his father would never bother to love him even if he tried his best to seek his attention or try to talk with him.

Despite the fact that it was very painful to be constantly ignored by his parents, he also knew that there was no changing his parents. Therefore, he choose to live with the reality and accept the way it was. 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

I hope you enjoyed the chapter :3. 

I will make one more update today ^-^! 

If you love my story, please stay tuned >~<!