writing

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I see a glimmer of hope when I hold on to the
thought that he'll be mine someday.
He was a new happy tune in my somber melody,
a tune that I never knew was missing in my life.
He was a dream come true,
a dream I never dreamt of.

I was going through a terrible writer's block,
for years.
I just thought I was lacking motivation to write,
but the truth was that I just didn't have
a reason to put my pen on the paper,
cause I only write when I am falling in love or falling apart.
I find myself overflowing with ideas,
but every time I sit down to write,
my mind goes blank and I can't get the words to come,
so I take a break,
or I find myself procrastinating.
Perhaps I was being shattered so much,
was having too many thoughts for my brain to handle,
that I was overwhelmed and lost my
ability to move forward in the writing process,
because of which I didn't know which thought
to leave and which one to pick and put on paper.

But the arrival of you into my life
made me see a new light in the darkness.
My writing started overflowing,
my fingers would type alphabets without having to think
or frame sentences without going over them again and again.
It was like a part of me that was lost,
came back.
A part that I would never want to lose ever again.

But there's always this thought at the back of my head,
What if he'll never be mine?
What if he walks away with his light,
leaving me in complete darkness once again?
Then will I lose my ability to write once again?
Perhaps I'll even lose myself if I lose him.

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