Ian
Keep my distance,keep my sanity.
That is what I keep on telling myself, cause some how some where I began to lose it.
The fact that I wanted to to kiss her, touch her hold her, must mean that I am clearly losing it.
And that is why I did what I did. I kissed her, savoured on her lips, got acquainted with how soft they were, learnt every corner of them and then spoilt everything in one go.
Because of my pride and ego, I threw money at her and hurt her.
Why?
Because I couldn't bring myself to accept that I loved every bit of it. I could not let her know that I loved every bit of it, I couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that I was slowly growing weaker towards her.
Something was pulling me towards her , something I hated and couldn't embrace.
And that is why I keep reminding myself that I hate her. And my goal is to hurt her. That is why I married her in the first place.To cage her so that she could not do anything against me.
Turns out it's beginning to turn around against me and am not ready to settle for that. My ego was far too big to accept that and that is why my mission was to hurt her as much as I could.
The fact that I was falling scared me and it was my drive to put a stop to it before it was too late.
I guess that is why I did what I did next.
I walked into her room, my eyes landing on her coiled up body. She was sleeping, her chest moving slowly as she breathed in and out in her sleep. Her mouth parted a little, her hair falling slightly onto her beautiful face. She was absolutely beautiful.
She stirred in her sleep as though she had sensed my presence but did not wake up. She was peaceful. Only,I was about to interrupt her peace.
Slowly,I lowered myself onto the bed, my hands finding themselves into her hair. I pushed her hair out of her face slowly. She stirred again, producing a satisfactory sound as I caressed her cheek. It was the calm before the storm. But this, she didn't know.
I walked away before she could wake up,hating myself for growing weak before her.
There will be another time. I convinced myself as I walked away, far too annoyed with myself for not executing my plan.
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ULTIMATUM
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