Borrowed time; Mattheo Riddle

Chapter 29

Bellas pov

I didn't ever register where I was going until I found myself climbing the 46 stairs to the astronomy tower. My cheeks were wet with tears as I collapsed on the floor burying my face in my knees as the tears overflowed. After a while I could her light footsteps climbing the stairs, not even bothering to look up I felt two bodies wrap themselves on either side of me.

Pansy kept stroking my hair while I gathered the strength to talk. "I'm so stupid" I said looking up at the two.

"No, you're not. Come here" Pansy hugged me tightly.

"I just... " my voice broke as I tried to speak and Daphne gave me a reassuring smile as she held on to my hand. "I actually thought he liked me" I managed to speak the sentence before my voice broke again.

"I think he does" Daphne said.

"Right cause usually when you like someone you fuck someone else, makes complete sense" I sarcastically said sitting up more on my own.

"I think Daphne's right.." Pansy agreed. "Riddle isn't exactly good with emotions and it sound like he just got a bit scared"

"Oh so you're defending him now?" I said letting an angry breath out as I looked at the two.

"No, we're not. What he did was awful and I will be sure to give him hell for it" she held a pause looking at our blonde friend, " but I think you should eventually hear him out".

Rage was bubbling inside me at the thought of my two best friend siding with him. I though they were suppose to be on my side.

Pansy saw the fury that was building inside of me, "Look, I'm one hundred precent on your side, if you want to kick him to the curb and never speak of him again I'm all for it".

"Well even help you beat his ass" Daphne said, which was quite unexpected from her.

"But just hear him out first. He's a troubled soul and emotions is not something that he's used to dealing with. I just think you would regret it if you never got to hear his side of it" she said trying to move closer to me.

"I think I need some time alone" I said ignoring them as I stared out over the grounds. They both eventually left and a let a few silent tears roll down my cheek.

When the anger had eventually cooled off I thought about what Pansy and Daphne had said. From the thing I have seen his family doesn't not seem like a healthy one and maybe dealing with emotions is hard for him, so yeah maybe he was scared. But so was fucking I! I was scared shitless opening up my heart to him. I have less than a year left to live and as if that's not terrifying enough as it is I began developing feeling for the dark lord son... and yet I didn't run away to fuck somebody else.

Okay maybe the anger wasn't all gone just yet....

Mattheos pov

I had been pacing the room thinking of ways to to fix this when I eventually heard footsteps entering the common room. I was hoping Bellas was with them but also knew the chances were quite slim. And just as I had though there were only a sad Daphne and a furious Pansy with her eyes set on me.

She didn't even reach me before the word started flowing out of her mouth. "You absolute pice of shit, how could you do this to her" her fist hit my chest as she began angrily punching me. I didn't bother fighting her as I knew I deserved it and she landed a pretty good right hook before Draco dragged her off.

"Where is she?" I asked mostly to Daphne who seemed to contemplate if telling me was a good idea. I already know how she feels about me, it quite obvious from the looks she give me every time I enter a room. But I would hope she sees that I genuinely care for Bella.

"Astronomy tower" she answered in a low voice and I wasted no time as I set off.

Halfway there I felt something hot dripping along my cheek and realized Pansy had managed an even better hit than I thought, a small feeling of pride rising in me.

It felt like the longest walk of my life as I contemplated what to say to her and when my feet hit the 46 steps I was still no wiser.

Bellas pov

Time didn't register as my brain worked on high speed trying to comprehend tonight. It could have been hours sense Pansy and Daphne left or it could have been seconds, either way a new set of footsteps was climbing the stairs and in my gut I immediately knew who it was.

From the corner of my eye I could see him stopping ones he saw me. He eventfully walked up to a pillar opposite to were I was sitting and slid down on the ground. I keep ignoring him starting mindlessly out onto the ground. The snow was still thick and the air cold but I couldn't feel a thing except for the tingling feeling that erupted on my stomach every time his eyes were on me. I hated that my body still reacted to him, still wanted him.

It took a while before he spoke, his voice raspy and weak as if he was unsure of what to say, "I'm sorry". It was almost comical, that was all he had to say? A scoff had left my throat as he had said it and I still refused to look at him.

"I know I hurt you..." his eyes wandering the tower as he gathered his words. "I was so fucking stupid. I... I.. I was scared" He almost laughed as he said those last words making my head snap to him and truly look at him for the first time sense he got up here. "This funny to you?" I asked, anger bubbling inside me.

"No, no of curse not. It's just that I don't usually get scared, last time I was scared I was 8. You brought that out of me, a feeling I had been thought to never allow in, a feeling that makes you weak" he said. His eyes set on mine as he spoke, an intensity in them that I hadn't seen before.

"So I scare you?"

A smile formed on his lips at the words, "No, you don't scare me. But the things that you make me feel.... that shit scares the craps out of me".

"What do I make you feel?" I ask skeptical.

He takes a moment before he answers and I wasn't prepared for how my heart was gonna betray me when he said "Safe".

"You make me feel shit I have never done before, things I have been thought was weak and wrong and that I have gone my entire life thinking I wasn't capable of" His eyes drifted away from mine before coming back with a new set of determination in them. "I love you Bella, and although it scares the shit out of me still, I'm ready to admit it"

It felt like all the air had left my lungs as he spoke. He loved me? Did I love him? Of course I did, but he still slept with Astoria. I don't know if I will be able to overcome that.

I looked in to his brown eyes wanting so bad to just forgive him and throw myself in to his arms, but I couldn't, although my heart wanted to my brain didn't let me. Instead I studied his face seeing the cut on his cheek and the fresh blood that had been running from it.

"What happened to your cheek?" he looked a bit disappointed as I had changed the subject but answered me none the less, "Pansy happened".

"You should clean that up" I said as I got up. His eyes followed my every move as I approached the stairs before turning around and giving him one last look, "Goodnight Riddle".

~~~

You guys think we should forgive him?