Stay with me!

Chapter 40 - GUILTY

It wasn't completely a day after, not twenty four hours, nope. When would he stop making the mistake of believing in his mother? The same cycle of hurt and pain would commence until he learnt the lesson. Truthfully, yesterday ended lovely with the aftertaste of luxurious ice cream and a warm bed. But today he heard her demands to work harder because she wasn't close to satisfied, which led to him feeling inadequate. He gave his best during school hours and preferred to leave his work there, he just couldn't concentrate at home but that wasn't enough for her. She needed him to work at home and she kept chipping at him, like a woodpecker until he felt overwhelmed (which didn't take long).

And as he left for school on the day after, she had to boast about how much he was like her. How it was impossibly accurate, which really cheered him up for the week.

He couldn't face his boyfriend in class, not that anything happened between them, it was more his own messed up inner dialogue taking place. His father. A sickening thought dawned upon him. The way his mother treated him was like how Bakugo treated Midoriya, the facts were clear as day. He felt it and nearly stumbled over in disgust with his mother and himself. He wouldn't let himself be like her, he'd let go and make sure the other was happy unlike she did! She kept his father locked in a cage, he would never do the same with Midoriya.

He didn't want to think any longer, he was frustratingly tired of this. His brain wouldn't shut up, it never did when he needed it to. So he acted in a tornado of emotions when he pulled the green-haired boy aside.

"I think we should break up."

"I'm not able to be in a relationship, I can't handle one."

"It isn't you, you haven't done anything. It's just that this has made me feel genuine joy, and no good things last. I've had this recent realisation, that this won't last, things will always happen to me and I can't let such a beautiful memory be tainted. I'll keep you in my heart. Always. But it's the best to end things while it's still good, it's inevitable."

...

"I don't need a relationship, I just want you! I've always wanted you." Izuku proclaimed with streams of tears.

Bakugo's eyes widened intensely and his mouth slightly opened, agape with no words. He didn't. He couldn't--.

"I don't understand why you want it, with someone like me."

"Kacchan," he sniffled. "You won't truly know because you aren't me and you view yourself so harshly, but I see someone who's made me who I am. No one will ever be perfect and that's what I appreciate about you, you're real. And gosh do you push my buttons but you give me a purpose and a life, we can pause the romance but I can't let go, not before, not now, not ever."

The pair shared tears as Bakugo stumbled forward, kneeling as he faced the ground with gritting teeth. His body shook violently and softly, warm arms held him close as they always did.

No matter the amount of attempts or methods he's used with pushing people away, Izuku stood next to him. It would never make sense to him and maybe that was what kept him so fragile, a dagger through his cynical view of life. It brought him to ability to feel and embrace, instead of the bleak fate he believed to have. Eventually, the sweats of adrenaline caught the wind and the blonde shivered, slowly moving his lips. He kissed the other delicately on the side of his forehead and held onto his shoulders, despite the scorching blush that could blind someone. "I will always cherish you, but I can't let myself hurt you. You'd probably say something like I never have, with your stupid bright eyes. I... I know I need to get help, this shit it's taken its toll on me, my mum..."

"I will wait for you."

"I know you would," Bakugo tearfully smiled. "There's a lot of shit I need to work on and I know therapy is unavoidable, but when I turn eighteen then I can go on my own and maybe even move away. Just, learn to breathe, you know? Everyday seeing this messed up stuff at home, I'm scared I'll be just like them. I can't, Izuku."

He sounded so desperate, almost pleading to an otherworldly figure. Was that the root of his fears?

Bakugo sighed and then continued, "Once I can be better, for myself, us, then we can be together. Okay?" He squeezed the freckled boy's hands and saw the squinting eyes, he was feeling heartbreak and Bakugo did too, he felt the same agonising pain in his chest but he didn't have such an overt appearance of it. His homelike brought many misfortunes and similar agonies so the emotion wasn't necessarily easier to deal with, he was just more successful at hiding it. His home was like a circus, performances, masking from the public, gaslighting... without any breaks between.

Bakugo didn't hear another word from him after that, nor did anyone else. It seemed the shorter boy locked himself mentally away to comprehend what just happened. Bakugo couldn't blame him, he never could.

Walking over to the end of his house, displayed a navy-painted sky above him. His mother was nearby, yelling at the other as she washed the left over dishes. His childhood friend remained with him, through thick and thin and for him, he would hold on and keep kicking life's arse. Whether they stayed friends or were more again, the future will tell and he was contempt with either.

Alas, Things continued whether we wanted them to or not. So we keep fighting, each lifeless day will give out for a better one. With a hand in another, we'll keep the flame burning.