From one favour turning into two, then three and four. It was near daily that the mutt would find Bakugo and pull him into a stupid request. He was tired, so tired of it but he couldn't refuse. The last of his dignity was at stake.
His parents didn't notice his facial expressions, the mere effort to pass as okay. An emptiness following from behind as he climbed to his room each day and didn't leave until he had to. Then his body laid awake, eyes piercing the ceiling with lifelessness. The screen's rays hitting him in the face to pass the remains of each day. But nothing explained why he wanted the divorce to be over with already. Maybe the anticipation was too much. Or the weird normality to it all.
His behaviour was selfish, he's sure it was but that didn't end it. The feeling persisted, a mild burning inside that he had to wallow in. There wasn't anything specifically bad, he had someone that loved him for fuck sakes. But lord knows why that teen ever did? What was so worth it?
When all he did was cause implications. Years and years ago, telling his closest friend to take a swan dive off a roof. When he always knew that it was a part of him directed at himself for all that guilt. Ammendment. The amount of shit he caused was beyond any repairing and the idea of diving didn't feel so bad. At least the idea helped him breathe.
"Maybe I should." He softly echoed in defeat.
His dad constantly entered the room to ask if he was okay, acting as if he was a child when Bakugo certainly wasn't. Resulting in him yelling to assert some comfortability in the situation. Barely did it help.
The next day came and he woke up early, hearing loud mumbles from the room next door. He could make out a few words, the father was trying to console the mother on eating and moving forward, the other reluctant to move. A flick of a lighter. It didn't explain itself but he desired to move closer so he could hear the conversation in full, he wanted to know his mother's thoughts. She pissed him off each day but he did care about her and he was indeed worried. Slowly, the teen shifted from foot as he neared the open door and stood silently to listen. Regret.
"I can't do it anymore." She croaked.
His father, stood outside her room as he replied. "I know it's annoying but you have to be strong and grow up, Mits."
"I'm tired of everything going wrong for me, I looked like an ass to my co-workers."
"You have to hold on, do it for our son. He needs you. As much as I wanted to go we have to stay for him."
Bakugo stood with his saturated eyes, shakily breathing without noise. He closed his eyes and heard the response of his mother.
"I don't want to live anymore."
Never, he never heard her say such a sentence. He saw her as a body of bricks, always getting back up and finding a way to get the best out of any situation and now she was broken, like his father usually is. He expected it from his father, regardless of the discomfort it gave but from his mother? It felt serious and horrible to hear and he couldn't linger longer, shifting back to his bed and hiding under the covers, continously sobbing his eyes out.
His parents didn't want to live, they were only alive because of him and he felt so fucking guilty. He scratched at his forehead to feel something and breathe again and he choked out, "fucking hell."
He didn't sleep, couldn't any longer so he slept on his bed until it was brighter outside and then he sighed in realisation that there was a whole damn weekend to get through.
It took hours until he ripped himself from his bed and threw cleaner clothes on, going for a walk outside to get away from the miserable house. He kicked plastic with his hands in pockets, sighing along with the crisp air. It didn't get any easier, why couldn't they just get divorced what the fuck was stopping them? It wasn't his fault, or was it? Shit. What if he is postponing their happiness? That's very wrong.
He gripped his hair and stood still as parents walked past with elders. His head refused to stop aching so Bakugo shoved earphones into his phone and put a song on to help ground him.
"But still so much hangs over".
No matter how many days he lived or forgot, his actions and sins would still burn his skin and brains out. It wouldn't pass or stop, he had to always be made accountable for the worthlessness conducted. He was a living waste.
"I lay down in it."
Living in the regrets and pain without any chances to change the misery shining upon his close ones, the misery he hand-wrapped for them. Harming those that still cared about him when they shouldn't anymore. Why care for those that only bring negativity?
"What have I done? Don't know what I've said".
It's all the same to him, what does he say or not say? The facade of strength and abrasiveness has melted with his inner hatred and it's unclear even to him on who he is, a mold of cruelty. The mask didn't feel so different anymore, he was that asshole. He was the piece of shit that made his mother hate living despite being strong like aluminum, he was the one that told his fucking boyfriend to take a--.
"Jesus Christ my aching head".
It clogged his brain, the thoughts, each each day and he couldn't take it either. Why was he born in this path of being so heartless and corrupt? Why was fate so ironically cruel? Did he really have no choice?
What about those gifts he gave? "Surely..." He said aloud as he begged the voice in the brain for something.
He reached out with his palm for the reassurance that his actions were good and the voice turned it's back on him with disgust.
No, that wiuldnt do it. Buying a few objects won't touch the pain he's brought to this world by his existence. Bakugo, the boy who should make ammendments and kill himself before any of his innocent parents do. After all, the longer he breathes, the longer people will suffer.
His breath stopped as he gritted his teeth, closed his eyes and pressed his chest into an alleyway where he wouldn't be noticed in his spiral. He didn't want to die, he just wanted things to get better but he had to do something and this was the only way, right?
"Please..." He whispered to the wall as his tears smeared down the chalk.
YOU ARE READING
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Fanfiction-------FANFICTION------- Bakugo's family having issues between each other was no surprise to anyone. However, things began to escalate to the point of a permament change. He already felt an intense amount of guilt for the situation he put his parent...
