Burden

*-chapter four-*

I rush into my room, swiftly circling my bed as I search through my nightstand to locate the spare keys that unlock her door. They must be in one of these drawers. Ah, there they are! Snatching them up, I hurry back to her door and promptly insert the key into the lock, giving it a swift twist.Entering the room, I flick the light switch, allowing my gaze to focus on her surroundings. Scanning the area, my attention is drawn to her bed, conspicuously disheveled, adorned with a bottle of wine, pills and cigarette ash. Shaking my head i look at her dresser next to the bathroom door i see a letter, my stomach drops dreading the worst.

Stepping to the side to look inside the bathroom, where I see her head on the top of the tub.

Fuck

Rushing into the bathroom, I come to a sudden halt at the door upon seeing all the blood in the tub. My mind is a blur, and I find myself on my knees beside my mother, holding her wrist. Only later do I realize that I've already called an ambulance, my tears tasting bitter on my lips.

"Mum, I'm sorry, I should've been quicker. Why didn't I check?" I release a sigh as I feel a faint heartbeat. "Mum, it's going to be okay. You're still here," I say, holding her wrist tighter. "Please don't give up on me. Don't give up on yourself. I need you."

"Miss you need to step away so we can help" i quickly get up and let the paramedics help my mum, walking backwards till I hit the wall opposite of the bathroom entry. I stand there for god knows how long, tears still falling down my face as I watch the grab bandages and use some machines to check her heart rhythm. One paramedic comes up to me as the other puts her on a the stretcher. "Miss she going to be okay, where going to take her to the hospital now" nodding I walk with the guy and jump in the back of the ambulance.

Seated beside her, I grasp her hand, my gaze fixed on the pulsating heart monitor. making sure she is alive

After what seems like an hour drive but was most likely only 10 minutes we arrive that hospital emergency entrance. My mother is taken to a room while I am taken to a nurse to talk to. She tells me to sit down. "Can you tell me everything that happened" looking down in my lap i notice that my hand are covered In blood, quickly closing my eyes shaking my head lightly to in way to erase the memory from my head, see if I was an etchasketch that would've worked, but for this it didn't work.

Putting my face in my hands not caring I would get blood on ny face, I let out a loud sob. The nurse gently rubs my back, "it going to be okay sweetheart" that meant a lot more then you would think, right now all I need was reassurance from everyone that my mum was going to be okay. " I- I don't know how long ago o-or why she did it" taking a deep breath in "I didn't know she was home so when I called her and heard it upstairs I knew something was wrong" I raise my hand to wipe my eyes " I saw the note on her bed, and then it's a blur every happen so fast yet so slow"

The nurse nods, jotting down notes, probably for the doctors or some paperwork. "What's her name?" she inquires. "Genifer Hart," I mutter. "Okay, sweetheart, you stay seated here while I go get some information on your mum." Nodding, I rest my head on my knee that I'm hugging.

After about 20 minutes, the nurse returns and informs me that my mum isn't awake yet, but I'm allowed to go sit in her room. I nod for what feels like the 50th time tonight and follow her towards the room. She opens the door slightly, and as I walk in, I see my mum connected to machines. My brows furrow when I notice her wrists are strapped down, and the nurse, clearly anticipating my concern, explains, "It's protocol for this; we don't know how she'll be when she awakes."

"Oh...um, why hasn't she awoken?" I direct my attention to the nurse. "She lost a fair bit of blood and went into shock; the doctor deemed it best to sedate her."

The nurse, noting my discomfort, kindly hands me a jumper. "Here, you might want this. It can get chilly in these hospital rooms, and it'll cover the blood." I offer her an appreciative smile, though it doesn't quite reach my eyes. As she leaves, I redirect my attention to my mother.

After what feels like hours, the nurse advises me to head home, suggesting I take a shower and get some rest. I gently kiss my mum on the head before making my way out the door.

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Unedited