Burden

*-chapter nineteen-*

A restless night haunted by my mother's harsh words left me sleep-deprived and emotionally drained. Her accusations echoed in my mind like a relentless chant, casting a shadow over my thoughts. In the morning, I found myself grappling with the aftermath of those hurtful remarks, feeling like a zombie lost in the fog of emotional exhaustion.

The mundane routine of getting ready for work became a mechanical process as I mechanically moved from one task to another. Each action was a mere distraction, failing to dispel the heavy atmosphere that lingered from the night before. Despite the physical preparation, my mind remained trapped in the whirlwind of emotions stirred by my mother's painful words.

After enduring a lengthy bus ride, I finally arrive at work. The routine repeats itself, much like any other day. Weary from the journey, I find solace by leaning against my cubby, surrounded by the familiar sights and sounds of the workplace. The atmosphere is a blend of anticipation and monotony, creating a backdrop for the day ahead. As I brace myself for the upcoming tasks, the echoes of the previous night's turmoil linger, subtly influencing my demeanor.

Jake walks into the room, sighing audibly. I glance up at him, slowly turning to face his concerned gaze. He tilts his head slightly to the side. "Mae, what's wrong? Me and Alexis are worried," he says with genuine concern. Unable to hold back any longer, a small sob escapes from me. Without uttering a word, Jake walks up to me and wraps me in a comforting hug, providing a momentary refuge from the storm of emotions within me.

"I'm just exhausted. I would love to talk, but it's a very long story, and I just can't be bothered," I say, pulling away from Jake. The weight of the unspoken words lingers in the air, but for now, finding clarity within myself seems more pressing than sharing the intricate details of my struggle.

"Thanks, though," Jake furrows his brows. "For what?" I look up at him, a hesitant smile playing on my lips. "Sometimes people just need to be reassured that others care, and lately, I've been needing it. Your concern means a lot, Jake."

He nods understandingly, "Well, whenever you're ready to share, I'm here for you. We all are." There's genuine warmth in his voice, and I can't help but feel a small glimmer of comfort in the midst of my turmoil.

Walking to the front of the shop, I observe the cozy ambiance, the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafting through the air. The soft chatter of customers adds a rhythmic melody to the atmosphere. As I approach Alexis, she glances up from the counter, a faint smile playing on her lips.

"Hey, Alexis, where do you need me today?" I inquire, eager to dive into the routine tasks that help distract me from the tumultuous thoughts swirling in my mind. Alexis, sensing something may be amiss, studies my face for a moment before responding.

"Hey, Maeve. How are you holding up today?" she asks, her concern evident in her eyes. I offer a forced smile, attempting to downplay the weariness that clings to me.

"I'm good, just the usual. Ready to jump into work," I reply, brushing off any hint of vulnerability. Alexis nods, but her perceptive gaze lingers for a moment longer. 

"just uhh work the over there today please," Alexis instructs as I nod in acknowledgment. I walk over to my designated area and flip the open sign. With my notepad in hand, I wait for Alexis to direct customers my way. The routine of the diner continues, and I prepare to take orders and serve with the same smile I wear to conceal the chaos within.

"Good morning," I greet with a faint smile, masking the fatigue that lingers beneath. "How can I help you today?" My words are punctuated by a subtle yawn, a testament to the sleepless night that has left its mark on my energy levels. The customer, seemingly oblivious to my exhaustion, glances up from the menu and places their order

Turning towards the kitchen, I pass the customer's order to the chef. The familiar sound of the bell ringing catches my attention, and as I turn, I see Jasper entering the diner. A small smile creeps onto my face. Alexis provides him with a random number, and he nods, making his way to the designated seat.

Feeling the fatigue weigh on me, I force a friendly smile and try to maintain some energy. "Hey Jasper," I greet, stifling a yawn. I remember Jasper's usual order and gently ask, "Coffee and a blueberry muffin, right?" I raise my eyebrows slightly, seeking confirmation.

He nods, and I manage a more genuine smile. "Got it. I'll bring that over to you shortly." I note down the corrected order, appreciating his consistency in preferences. The routine with Jasper becomes a comforting constant, a rare connection in the midst of my tired routine.

Waiting for the coffee to be ready i grab a muffin and put it on a plate, grabbing the recently brewed coffee, i make my way back to jasper. stifling another yawn "here you go" i hand over his order. when turning to leave he grabs my arm and tells me to sit. Remembering the other day and how i could just vent to him i decide sitting is the best choice.

Jasper glances at me, an understanding expression in his eyes. "Tired?" he asks. I nod my head, unable to hide the exhaustion that lingers. "Extremely. Didn't get much sleep last night," I admit, appreciating the simplicity of our conversation. Despite his selective mutism, there's a strange comfort in our brief exchanges.

Jasper looks at me intently, his eyes searching for an explanation. "Why?" he questions quietly. I hesitate for a moment, contemplating whether to share my burden. But then, I decide to open up, realizing that confiding in a near-stranger might be easier.

"It's my mum. She said some horrible things to me yesterday, and I couldn't sleep," I confess, the weight of the words heavier as I utter them aloud. Jasper's expression shifts slightly, a mix of understanding and sympathy. He still doesn't say much, but the subtle nod and the softness in his eyes speak volumes. In that moment, I feel a strange connection—a shared understanding of the weight carried by our respective burdens. It's a comfort to know that, even in my fatigue, there's someone who silently acknowledges the struggles we each face.

"Sorry to hear that," he murmurs, seemingly choosing his words carefully. "People can be... difficult sometimes." There's a shared understanding in his eyes, an unspoken acknowledgment of the challenges life presents, I appreciate the quiet support, feeling a connection that transcends words.

Jasper looks up, his gaze meeting mine. He seems genuinely curious, his selective mutism momentarily set aside. "You don't have to share if you don't want to, but why did she lash out?"

For a moment, I hesitate, weighing the decision to open up to a near stranger. However, there's something in Jasper's demeanor that suggests a genuine interest, a willingness to listen without judgment. "You know what? I have no clue. Can I vent? Well, I'm going to vent. Mum has this stupid boyfriend, and he manipulated my mum into thinking, God knows what, but it's obviously something about me because she doesn't want to see me," I blurt out.

Jasper nods, looking like he's figuring out what to say. A few moments later, he speaks, his tone sounding absolutely endearing. "Are you sure she doesn't?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. ," I reply with a heavy sigh.

We talked for a while, well, I talked the most out of us, but it was nice. Anyway, after a while, my stomach grumbled. Jasper pushed over the muffin he hadn't eaten yet. After some little arguing, I'm sitting here, finally eating. The warmth of the muffin, the comforting taste of blueberries, somehow eases the weight on my shoulders. I glance at Jasper, offering a silent but appreciative smile for the unexpected gesture of kindness.

****

Alexis came over, telling me she didn't want to spoil this, but I have to get my ass back to the floor because a rush had just come in. With a final grateful look at Jasper, I hurriedly head back to work, my brief moment of respite fading away as the demands of the diner pull me back into the hustle and bustle.

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