Burden

*-chapter twentyone-*

After venting with Jasper last week, I've felt a subtle shift in my perspective. It's not that he provided any profound solutions, but simply expressing my thoughts out loud to someone who listened without judgment has been surprisingly therapeutic. The weight of my emotions seems a bit lighter, and I'm gradually learning to separate myself from the hurtful words my mom uttered.

As I gather my belongings and head towards the door, a newfound sense of clarity accompanies me. It's not a complete resolution, but it's a step in the right direction. However, just as I'm about to exit, a sudden knock startles me, causing a momentary pause in my departure.

Taking a deep breath, I open my door. To my surprise – and not a pleasant one – it's my landlord, wearing her usual cruel scowl. The timing couldn't be worse, and I brace myself for whatever unpleasant news or confrontation might be coming my way.

"Your rent has increased by $200," she spits out, not bothering to soften the blow. With a curt turn, she heads off, leaving behind the lingering threat, "If you can't afford it, I have people who can." Watching her departure, I let out a mental sigh, but my resolve remains intact. I return to my original path, which is visiting my mum.

Upon reaching the clinic to see my mother, I approached the reception and requested to visit her. However, a nurse informed me that I had to wait in the visitor section until she personally escorted my mother. This change came about because of my mom's previous outburst during our last encounter, leading to the imposition of supervised visits.

"Hey mum, how are you?" I say, empathy laced in my eyes. She looks a little different, and I can sense that she's somewhat sedated.

"I feel fine. I'm sorry about last time; I talked with John, and he said that you're helping out so much," she adds. I roll my eyes, knowing what he means—I'm paying for all of this, difficult as it might be.

"So, mum, I need to tell you something," I continue. She takes my hand and leads us to a seat. "Okay, mum, the landlord came over this morning right before I came and told me rent has been increased by 200 dollars." She nods her head, furrowing her brows. "So, what does that mean?"

"It means, with the bills, this place, and the rent, I can't afford it. So, I was thinking of moving to a smaller house."

"No," she interrupts, a hint of panic in her voice.

"But Mum, it's getting too hard to manage everything here. A smaller place would be more affordable, and I could use the extra money for your care and other necessities. It's a practical decision," I explain, trying to convey the necessity of the situation. "you can get a new job" 

"Mum, finding a new job isn't that simple. I'm doing my best, but the expenses are just too much to handle. Moving to a smaller place is a practical solution for both of us," I respond, hoping she'll understand the challenges I'm facing. She looks at me with a mix of disbelief and frustration. "You can't just uproot our lives because of some rent increase. You need to figure this out, Maeve." 

"Mum, I know it's not ideal, but we have to consider all our options," I reply, trying to remain calm despite the rising tension. "I'm doing everything I can to find a solution. We'll get through this together, okay?"

"Maeve, I don't want to hear excuses," she retorts, her voice tinged with frustration. "You need to start taking responsibility and find a real solution to our problems. I can't keep living like this. moving around over and over". "Mum, I understand that you're attached to this house, but we have to face reality," I say, trying to reason with her. "The expenses are piling up, and we can't afford to ignore them. Selling the house might be our best option to secure our financial stability."

As the conversation grows tense, I decide to shift the subject, attempting to soothe the tension lingering in the air. We talk about various things, avoiding the impending decision about moving for now. After spending some more time with her, I eventually leave and head home, my mind still racing with thoughts and uncertainties about the future.

---------