Burden

*~Chapter thirty-seven~*

I haven't talked to Mum all week. She hasn't tried to call me either. We're both caught in this awkward silence, each of us avoiding the other. I feel a pang of guilt—she's my mother, after all—but honestly, I'm just exhausted.

Right now, I'm sitting in a meeting with Mum's doctor, waiting for her to arrive. The room feels cold and impersonal, and I shift uncomfortably in my seat, trying to ignore the knot of anxiety in my stomach. Just as I'm lost in my thoughts, the door opens and Mum walks in. She doesn't acknowledge me, not even a glance in my direction.

The doctor clears her throat, breaking the silence. "Okay, so I wanted to start by discussing the medication," she says, her tone clinical but not unkind. I nod, trying to stay focused.

"We had her on a stronger dose initially," the doctor continues, "and while it was effective mentally, the side effects were too severe for her overall health. So, we've reduced the dosage. This means her mood swings might be a bit more frequent."

I look at Mum, hoping for some sign of engagement or understanding, but she keeps her eyes fixed on the doctor. The weight of the unspoken words between us feels heavy, and I try to brace myself for what comes next.

"As long as she's healthy," I mutter, trying to focus on the doctor's words rather than the tension in the room.

The doctor shifts, her expression serious. "Now, to the more difficult part. Jennifer, I know you've been wondering about when you'll be able to go home."

Mum grunts out, her voice flat, "Well, I don't have a home anymore."

The doctor glances at me sympathetically before responding, "Yes, I've heard about the situation. I'm truly sorry."

I just nod in acknowledgment, feeling the weight of Mum's situation pressing down on me.

The doctor continues, "Back to what I was saying. After two months of consultations, the group has determined that Jennifer is still too unstable to return home and will need to stay here for a while longer."

I look over at Mum, her face flushed with anger. It's clear she's already aware of this decision, and the frustration is evident in her posture.

She stands abruptly, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. "Well, this has been a delightful conversation," she snaps, her voice sharp. "You do know I'm the mother, right? I'm leaving."

Without waiting for a response, she turns and walks out of the room, leaving me alone with the doctor and the echo of her anger.

the doctor's voice breaks the silence as Mum storms out. "Maeve, there's more. I know I said 'a while longer,' but in my opinion, I don't believe she should be alone. Your care, while appreciated, isn't quite sufficient on its own. The next steps might involve continuing her stay here, considering a more permanent facility that's less restrictive, or arranging for a stay-in nurse." I furrow my eyebrows, trying to grasp the situation. "All that for a few mood changes?" The doctor's expression softens with sympathy. "Oh, sweetie, your mother has Borderline Personality Disorder, and we're not entirely sure what else just yet. I know that seems scary, but we're doing everything we can to manage her condition." "Okay," I say, taking a deep breath. "Anyway, what do you recommend?"

The doctor's expression is serious as she continues. "Given your mother's condition and the challenges involved, my recommendation would be to consider a more structured environment. This could be an extension of her stay here, where she can receive consistent support and therapy. Alternatively, we could look into a facility that specializes in long-term care for individuals with BPD, where they have the resources to provide more comprehensive treatment."

I nod, trying to absorb the information. "And what about the stay-in nurse option?"

"The stay-in nurse would provide daily support and monitoring at home, but it might not be enough given her current needs. It's crucial that she has access to specialized care and a structured environment where her treatment can be managed effectively."

I take a deep breath, feeling overwhelmed. "Okay, I'll think about it. Thanks for explaining everything."

The doctor gives me a reassuring nod. "I know it's a lot to take in, but we're here to support you through this. If you have any more questions or need further guidance, don't hesitate to reach out."

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well that's a bit sad, its a short filler chapter, I might come back to add more in but yeah.

I wanted to talk about the mums mental health, but there's also more not really relating to the mental health, im not sure if ill keep it, its a bit dark

😀