Elijah
Time for me to get this straight
So tired of living life the same old way
Trials slowly eating away at me
I need a touch from the Lord today
Oh revival, we must reconcile
I wanna be like Jesus, delivered set free
How can I reach out to someone else?
When I ain't got it together myself
I'm just stuck playing the cards I was dealt
In my heart I'm crying out for help
I'm looking for purity, self control & immunity
Said I wanna be like Jesus, delivered set free
:
I leaned down and kissed her forehead before leaving the note on her night stand. Dave was waiting on me outside and I've held him up long enough writing this letter. If there's one thing about Afia it's her ability to understand. And I know she'll understand that this isn't personal.. I have to close chapters in my life before I can be completely be happy with her. I started to kiss her once more but I know that wouldn't make this any easier. I closed the door gently and grabbed my bag and leaned against the wall. I have to remember this is only for the better, I need this in order to give her everything that I intend to. I stood and looked back at the door before making my way down the stairs.
Although it's going to be hard being away from her I think distance and time away will be good. Its not a breakup nor is it a separation, I'm going away to better myself. In hopes to put my past behind me and become a stronger individual. What happened to me at the club put me in a bad space. I realized that I haven't moved past the abuse, it still effects me. I need to move past that and in order for me to do that.. I need to take this time and deal with it. I was victim of domestic violence and I am still dealing with it till this day.
Sometimes you just can't shake the imagines and you remember everything vividly. For me I am reminded of what I had to through by the the few scars I have, the punch to the nose. There are so many things that can trigger those flashbacks and it's... intense. I just want to move on and actually forgive because hate will not do anything for the situation. I don't hate her, even if I've said it I don't because she made me who I am. A gentleman with a big heart, I could've been hateful but I'm not. I can admit that I'm a lover and that's what I'll always be.
I closed the front door and jogged down the steps towards Dave's truck. I got in and immediately I felt like I needed to get out, I need her. As if he could read my thoughts he pulled out of the parking spot and began down the street. The sun was beginning to rise and I was leaving, to become better. With each passing street light my heart sunk, I had to remind myself this is for the better. I stared at the picture on my lock screen, I'm doing this for us..
:
Afia
This isn't goodbye, it's more of an I'll see you later..
I placed both my hands into the pockets of my sweat jacket and continued to walk Kofi with Essence. She was talking but instead of listening I kept replaying the things his letter entailed.
Only eight weeks apart...
I understand why he left and honestly that reason alone is why I haven't cried yet. I know that he had to deal with those things and no matter how bad I wanted to help him I know that I can't. I can be there for him, I can be his rock, his shoulder, his strength, his love and his everything but I cannot take that off his shoulders. He has to release that I can't no matter how much I would love to make it go away, I can't.
You've shown me true love and that fairytales do exist, you are everything I've ever wanted.. you're prefect.
I shivered thinking of the last kiss he planted on my lips and the way he looked into my eyes. I touched my lips and smiled because although we will be miles apart I know that this is for the better. I know that this is needed for the both of us, but more for him and his happiness. Letting go is the first step to forgiving and taking control of your life. It's possible for the past and the people in it to make life a little more difficult. But with time and the right kind of help, it's possible to move forward and be free. He needs it and I support his decision..
