Elijah
"But.. Eli, did I not text you Friday?"
"You did"
"Okay so.. what's the point in saying what you said?"
"What did I say other than you could have communicated a little better?"
"How the hell was I supposed to communicate with you? You never answered my call"
"There was Sunday"
"You're busy Monday through Friday, I get that but Saturday you were supposedly so tired that you couldn't answer my call. That's bullshit Eli and you know it, I haven't talked to you since last week. I called you before my appointment and after! You said I could call during the week if I really needed to speak to you. So... please explain how I'm wrong in this situation"
"I never said you were wrong.. this is going way beyond what it was meant to. I just asked why you couldn't let me know, it's not that big of a deal. I apologize for being tired, is that what you want to hear? What do you want me to do in order to change the situation?"
"Nothing... the surgery is scheduled for November second, either you're there or you're not. I'm done with the bullshit, keep doing whatever you're doing that is occupying your time. It's obviously more important than the things I feel you need to know"
"So keep trying to rest? Because thats what I was doing"
"Fuck you"
She hung up the phone and I looked around a bit surprised that the phone call went this far. I'll admit that I may have caused this, she did call me and I didn't answer. But it wasn't intential I didn't know that she honestly wanted to vent. It took an angry voicemail for me to realize all she wanted to do was tell me about her day and the cookout. And then by me not answering I kind of missed the opportunity to gain information on what's really been happening with her. A lot is unclear because she doesn't tell anyone what's going on. So it seems like everything is so random and confusing at times. But I can't make her sit down and explain everything to make it easier to grasp or understand. And the one time she did build up the courage to move forward and share her feelings, I wasn't there.. I let her down.
I called her back because our little argument wasn't supposed to go that far. She answered the phone but she didn't say anything, I sighed and apologized.
"I'm sorry, I should've been more available. You did try to contact me so I do feel bad about that.."
"Your appology means nothing right now, absolutely nothing. I have homework so I have to go"
You know when you can tell someone is crying? And you know you caused that person to cry.. the feeling you get is like a blow to the chest. I know that her condition and the whole situation is a lot for her to take in. And I really wasn't being supportive or considerate and that is something I truly regret..
"Dont hang up. I will do anything to make this up to you, I'm sorry"
"I dont wanna move in with you anymore"
That was definitely not what I expected to hear, I'm really not understanding where this all is coming from. Did I really cause all of this?
