Six months later..
Afia
I leaned back in my seat and placed both hands on my stomach the moment another contraction began. I've been having contractions every so often for about a week now. It's not enough to go to the hospital but they're pretty painful. My doctor told me his head is very low which is good, but I still haven't dilated past one centimeter. My stomach is also really low which explains a lot, I dropped at thirty four weeks. I honestly thought that was a sign he'd be coming soon but that was three weeks ago. I rubbed my swollen belly as the contraction started to subside and laid my head against the car window. I just know he's not coming until after his due date, however my doctor is not sure he'll make it to the tenth. He thinks the baby is coming before then based off how low his head is.
Elijah took one hand off the wheel and placed it on my stomach. I frowned and looked over at him, I don't wanna complain because I'm blessed to have gotten this far. But I'm over it, the contractions, the aches, frequent bathroom trips. My hips have spread, my boobs have doubled in size if not more and my feet and ankles swell damn near all the time. I can be sitting down and they awell, it hurts to carry this baby. I feel all the pressure and weight in my pelvic area when I lay down, stand up and when I walk. My mom told me I developed the waddle last week, apart of me was offended but I know it's true so fuck it.
"Three more weeks, are you ready?"
"Ready? I'm beyond ready, my bags have been packed since thirty five weeks"
"Are you scared of giving birth?"
I nodded, my biggest fear is pain and how I'm going to tolerate it. I plan to get an epidural as early as possible but I need to be prepared if that doesnt happen. I'm actually looking forward to labor and delivery. I wanna know what it's like, I wanna experience that beautiful moment everyone talks about. I can't wait to look my son in the eyes and kiss him for the very first time. I think of what will happen every day, I get scared a little but I'm ready to face any fear I have about giving birth.
My mom gave birth to me and both my brothers naturally, no epidural. From her experience she told me it wasn't bad, but I'm too scared to go without pain meds. Apart of me wants to have a home, water birth. I've been thinking about it, I have a doula and a midwife. Just in case I do change my mind, I don't really have much time to decide but I am thinking about it. If I chose that type of birth, there will be no pain medication available what so ever. Its a lot to think about in such a short time, the baby could come any day now. So if I don't decide soon, I'll be having him in the hospital regardless.
"I still wanna do the home, water birth. But I don't know if I can take the pain. Plus I'm scared of something going wrong being as though we wouldn't be in the hospital"
"I think the home birth would be good, it's a more peaceful environment. But I do understand your concern about not being in a hospital. It's up to you, you have to do all of the work so I support whatever decision you make"
I placed my hand on top of Elijah's and used his hand to run circles on my belly as another contraction started. He looked at me weird and then at his hand, I giggled before regaining my straight face. I'm assuming he feels my stomach tightening. This baby is playing with me, he's no where near ready to come out.
"Is that what a contraction feels like?"
"To you, yes"
