Fan Service [Chan]

Chapter 81

After more syrup was put in places that syrup most definitely didn't belong, Chan and I took a shower. We had to be at the venue soon and couldn't arrive in a sticky, sloppy mess.

Changbin and Han agreed to do the song with him, and as a fan, I was very excited to hear his rap in person.

"My boys spittin' facts they locked and loaded! Bah, bah, bah!" I chanted as we got ready.

Chan smirked and came to hug me from behind while I finished up my makeup. "Do you want to perform in my place tonight?" he laughed. "You're doing a great job."

"No! I want to see you do it!" I argued. "Why won't you practice for me?" I pouted. I had been begging him to sing it for me since he got out of the shower.

"Because you seem so excited, and you're adorable when you complain and pout," he grinned and kissed my neck. "You look really cute," he complimented.

I had on a denim dress with a white button-up shirt underneath it to hide the hickey he'd given me.

"Cute enough to convince you to practice?"

Chan inhaled through his teeth (in a way that's come to turn me on).

"You really want to hear it?"

"Yes!" I shouted at him. I applied my lipstick and turned around.

"Just remember, you asked for this," he warned me. He sat me down on the edge of the bed and stood in front of me.

"My boys spittin' facts," he began. He put his fingers in his dimples and sounded like a toddler...it was an Aegyo version. I immediately cringed and tried to hide, but he continued and forced me to watch by holding my hands, "they wocked and woaded."

I closed my eyes and fully shivered at how creepy it was. "Oh no, Ella. I'm not done!" Chan announced. He pulled my hands to bring me even closer to him and blinked widely as he sang, "Bah! Bah! Bah!" His voice got higher and higher and his fingers made a motion of a confetti explosion.

I thought he was going to stop but he continued forward. I freed myself from his grasp and put my hands over my ears to try to drown it out. "Stay on the grind," he made a fake pout which made me fake gag.

His hands came to my sides, and he tickled me. "You bettew watch out for the bwodders."

"Oh my god stop!" I cried out from laughing and cringing so hard simultaneously.

"Ella, I thought you loved this song!" Chan laughed.

I giggled and squirmed, and he eventually wrapped me into a hug and flung me back onto the bed with him.

"That was horrible," I laughed.

"That's how we're going to perform it," he joked. "You should see Han's."

I'd seen his aegyo on a video of theirs before. It haunted my nightmares.

"Han!" Chan called, and I covered his mouth with my hand.

"No!" I squealed.

"Are you sure? I don't want to disappoint you, Ella."

"I am very sure that I never want to see any of you do that ever again," I relaxed into him. My entire body had been tense while cringing at him.

Chan's hand kneaded my thigh where he held me. I melted. He had a magic way of making everything else in the world disappear when he was near me. The sounds of the city below us faded into silence. All I could hear were Chan's breaths beside me, and his kisses being left on my freckled cheeks.

Even though we'd gotten into this position because he was teasing me over my endless requests for him to practice the song for me, I couldn't help but feel endlessly grateful for him. The way he touches me so gently, and how he's always so caring made my heart flutter.

Everyone before him had treated me like I was just a body. Not a full person.

What I had wanted didn't matter.

Who I was hadn't mattered.

My cries hadn't mattered.

But Chan always made sure I was okay. He let me decide when I was ready for new things. He caressed my cheek and murmured sweet things to me when he thought I was asleep. He loved me in the way I always deserved but had never found.

"Ella, are you okay?" Chan asked. I looked up at his worried face. He brought a hand to wipe away a tear from my cheek. I hadn't even realized I was crying.

"I'm sorry," I apologized and wiped my face. I felt embarrassed. Why did good things always make me cry, too?

"What's wrong, baby?" Chan muttered sweetly. The sincerity of it made me cry again. How had I gone for so long without knowing what it was like to be loved?

"I just love you so much," I stammered.

"I love you too," he answered and held me protectively. "But why are you crying?" His hand stroked up and down my back to soothe me.

"It's stupid," I told him. I didn't even know how to explain why I was crying. I hadn't even meant to.

"Hey, it's not stupid," he diverged. Every time he validated me or made me feel seen, it was like some small broken piece of me welded itself back together. He was fixing all of the parts that had been smashed carelessly by those before him.

"I'm just really glad I met you," I hid in his chest, too embarrassed by the admission to face him head-on. "And I'm thankful for how gentle and sweet you are with me."

"Ella," Chan whispered. He placed a kiss on my forehead.

"You don't have to say anything," I sniffled. I didn't tell him to gain anything from him or to force niceties to leave his mouth. It was just the truth.

"I want to," he argued. I raised my eyes to meet his. "You are..." he paused and wiped away another tear, "the most important person in my life. You deserve the very best of everything, and I want to be the one to give it to you."

"So do you," I reminded him. JYP. The fan service. He deserved better. I'd help him end those things. It was the least I could do.

I cuddled into Chan's chest and breathed him in. I knew we didn't have long before we had to leave for the concert. He knew it, too. Neither of us cared. I kissed him and melted into him.

Time faded away.