Fan Service [Chan]

Chapter 88

I gasped and shot up in a panic from where I'd fallen asleep. Chan was still snoring beside me and I glanced around the room nervously, embarrassed to have gotten so worked up over a dream.

My phone told me it was only 3 am, and I sighed as I sunk back into the pillow. I didn't really feel tired anymore, and I definitely didn't want to go back to sleep only to have another nightmare.

I decided to just stay awake, so I snuggled back into Chan, but he started squirming restlessly beside me.

"No," he muttered as he pushed himself off of the pillow and away from me. I thought it might be a one-off, but he kept going. "No. I don't want to. Leave me alone!" Chan snapped and woke up just as I had moments ago—both breathless and afraid.

He clicked on the nightstand light and looked over at me, nearly jumping out of his skin when he saw me already sitting up and awake.

"Ella, I'm so sorry, baby. Did I wake you up?" he apologized and reached for my hand. His palm was sweaty and it was obvious he'd been pretty freaked out by whatever he'd been dreaming about.

"No, I had a nightmare just before you did," I explained. "Are you okay?" I'd never seen Chan panic like that before.

"Yeah, I just have bad dreams sometimes. Nothing to worry about, baby," he smiled and put his arm back around me.

I had no idea. I felt horrible.

"You know you can talk to me," I encouraged him. "What was it about?"

"I'm okay," he flashed his dimple, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. He was hiding something.

"I'll tell you if you tell me," I bargained. I wanted to be there for him, but he was being so secretive.

Chan didn't answer.

"I had a dream about the last hearing I attended with Holden. Basically relived the way they tried to discredit me and get him out of being convicted."

"I hadn't even thought about how you would've had to do this before. I'm so sorry, Ella. You must be feeling so anxious about facing him again..." Chan sounded apologetic...guilty even, but that wasn't why I'd shared that with him.

"Your turn," I encouraged him.

He took a deep breath, "You're already dealing with so much. I don't want to burden you with my problems, Ella."

"Do you think that I'm burdening you when I share my feelings and things I'm dealing with?" If that was how he viewed it, then there was an even bigger issue to be dealt with.

"No, baby. I want to be there for you. I just don't want you to have to worry about me. I'm okay," he kissed my temple and held me closer.

"I want to be there for you, too, Chan. Please let me in," I begged.