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Post-watch review: Orion and the Dark

OMG THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOOOOD!!!!!

Like, so far, in 2024, this is one of the best movies in my opinion, for sure.

OKAY, let's start with the movie overall so I can get on to the characters and stuff.

Orion and the Dark SPOKE to me. It was DEEP. Deeper than any other movie I've seen anyone do.

Oh, you don't think it was deep?

DARK LITERALLY KILLED HIMSELF. IN FRONT OF ORION.

Like, they said, "dissappear," BUT WE ALL KNOW HE DIED. HE ESSENTIALLY KILLED HIMSELF.

Anyways, the other characters as a whole did not make sense. And by other characters, I mean Unexplained Noises, Insomnia (that little b-word has hurt ALL of us), and Quiet, kind of. Quiet actually kind of makes sense.

As for Unexplained Noises, WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?!?! Why do you bother me everytime I wake up in the middle of the night? What is wrong with you?

And INSOMNIA, I HAVE SEVERAL WORDS. WE ALL HAVE SEVERAL WORDS.

Anyways, I kinda didn't like the ending. I think I would've liked if Orion and the gang had resolved the problems themselves, and that Hypacia didn't have to go INTO the story? Like, did anyone else get second-hand embarrassment, or was that just me? I LEGITIMATELY said in my head, "WHAT IN THE WATTPAD FANFICTION???" AND I WRITE WATTPAD FANFICTION!!!

And then Hypacia's son Tiko comes in and it's all, like, TIME TRAVEL??? I mean, I know Hypacia is from the future, but they could've found another way to resolve that. I mean, aren't the night entities literally, like, gods or something??? They could've taken her back to the future.

Anyways, the movie as a whole was FANTASTIC. Imma rewatch it because I couldn't hear it very well during the first few parts (I was watching it with the fam), but it was GREAT. Did I learn a lesson? Probably, but I'm gonna forget in about a week! 😃

I did comfort myself more during the nighttime though, telling myself that it was just Unexplained Noises, or that it's just Dark coming to say hi and pat me on the head a couple times, idk.

Edit: I also feel like the movie might have made a bit more sense if we saw a bit more of Orion's school life and stuff? Like, what a normal day usually is for him. 99.9999999% of it would be anxiety, but I just... I JUST REALLY WANTED TO SEE IT, OK??? LIKE, MORE SLICE OF LIFE STUFF.

I rate Orion and the Dark a 9.5/10!

NOW, onto the characters themselves!

ORION IS A CINNAMON ROLL, OMGGGGGGG. I legitimately did want to shake all of the fear out of him like a ragdoll. Like, I wanted to go in there and be all like, "DON'T BE SCARED!"

I SO HIGHKEY wanted to punch all of the kids that make fun of him. Like, I'm turning so violent, it's concerning. Like, I just wanted to throw them all in a pit and say, "LEAVE THE BABY ALONE!"

But overall, he was the ONLY ONE, in my opinion, THAT MADE SENSE. In the ENTIRE movie. Fr. Like, SLEEP WAS GOING TO HIT A BABY WITH A HAMMER. Thank GOD Orion was there to interrupt, cause I DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW what would happen to that poor child. And the scene with Unexplained Noises, he was the only one saying "It's okay, kid, it's not real!" Like, HE WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT MADE SENSE! AM I WRONG?!?!?!

Unexplained Noises and Sleep are otp, fr. THEY'RE SO LESBIAN-CODED. They are so married.

Now, for the most beautiful night entity in my opinion, and I'm sure she is in yours too. Sweet Dreams!

OMG SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL OMG EVERY TIME SHE WAS ON SCREEN I HAD A BI PANIC.

She's, like, ethereal! No joke. She's so beautiful. But, sis? One question.

WHY DON'T YOU VISIT ME SO OFTEN??? HUH??????? I WANNA HAVE SWEET DREAMS, NOT WEIRD DREAMS THAT ARE SOMETIMES SCARY.

*edit: I mean, she causes those weird dreams and nightmares too, so I guess she visits me, but smh.

Some minor characters?

I thought that Hypacia was BEAUTIFUL. She just had such an elegant and eloquent way of speaking. Also, she teaches me more things than school. What the heck.

Sally? Orion's crush. I mean, I can't blame him, because all Asian girls are pretty as FUDGE, and that's a FACT, but SALLY???? I thought her name would be...idk, like, Clarity or something??? Idk. Once a name is put on a face, I can't guess anymore.

Edit: Also, I think that it would have been better if they gave her at least a BIT of a personality? She just felt like a Mary Sue, if you know what I mean, and it's sad. I can't ship Orion and Sally if the latter has nothing to strive for!

What was his name again? Ritchie McRitchie? Something with a P. Idk. One thing though.

Control yourself, control yourself, he's just. A. KID.

I WANT TO THROW HIM INTO A PIT OF FIRE.

Also, he sounds like the cop from The Bad Guys. Misty Luggins? Bro, I thought it was her, I'm gonna have to look it up again.

Anyways, I hope he falls into a pit and never gets out or whatever. I'm a horrible influence, I was literally egging Orion on to punch him in the face.

Edit: I found out after watching the movie again that his voice actor is JACK FISHER. Like, KID FUCKING COSMIC??? HELLO???? Bud, heroes help, not hurt. Have you forgotten everything Papa G taught you? I'm talking about a show that's also on Netflix called Kid Cosmic. It's amazing, go watch it.

DARK IS SO DEPRESSED FR. I feel so bad for him. Like, no one likes him, not even his co-workers or something! I like you, Dark. You're cool. LIGHT CAN GO SCREW OFF WITH HIS COCKY ATTITUDE AND HIS STUPID SUNGLASSES.

Anyways, that was my review of Orion and the Dark! I hope you liked it, because I actually really like doing these movie reviews and sharing my thoughts with you. Have a great rest of your day!

P.S: By the way, I AM making a oneshot on Orion. I don't care what anyone says, I think it would be cute and fluffy and adorable. I'm making one.