𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬 / 𝐣. 𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐧

¹⁸ !!

☄. *. ⋆

| 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 ¹⁸: 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 |

y/n was out with her friends, a cigarette placed between her lips, as she looked through the cafeteria's menu.

"you're not doing any good on yourself with this" sasha said.

"okay"

"you're ruining yourself"

"am i ruining you?" y/n asked, as she raised her head to look at sasha.

"don't start, now, girls" historia said.

"you're right... i'm sorry, sasha"

"it's okay"

the three girls ordered whatever they wanted, before they started talking about a bunch of different things; school, homework, tv series, movies, characters, songs and even birthdays.

"sasha, your birthday is some months away"

"y/n, it's my 18th birthday! of course i'm planning it from now"

"don't you plan yours?"

"i... haven't really thought about it, historia... i haven't thought of anything happy or exciting since then"

y/n heard sasha sigh, and she instantly looked at her with a smile on her face.

"so, what are the plans for your birthday?"

☄. *. ⋆

the three girls were walking close to the river, before they sat down at a place y/n suggested. and of course it was the same place she once sat down when she went on a walk with jean.

yet, this time she didn't sit on the bench. she was standing in front of the two girls, the smoke from her cigarette traveling in the air. she raised her head, staring at the waning crescent moon.

'fuck it, i miss him'

she put a smile on her face, not wanting to ruin the mood- as they kept on talking, making jokes and laughing.

yet, there were moments where she would space out for just some seconds, or stop what she was doing cause she could smell his cologne.

only to realize it was her coat that smelled like him.

y/n and historia left sasha at her house, before they continued their walk.

"has sasha told you what she told me?"

"what do you mean by that?"

"she told me she doesn't want to talk about my situation with jean. did you know that?"

"no! i had no idea"

"really? she told you that?" historia continued.

"yeah..."

"at first, i was angry at her. well i still am, in a way... because it's like i'm not allowed to talk about how i feel for this whole thing"

"whenever i'm bringing it up, it's not on purpose. i'm just... hurt" y/n explained.

"you can talk to me, you know?" historia said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"i just.. i feel like shit. you know how i wanted to talk to him and sort things out, and yet, i didn't do it. cause i'm a fucking idiot"

"this whole thing breaks my heart, historia! it breaks my heart to watch him avoid me and act like i'm not even there! i suppose that's the price i pay for treating him this way"

"you know i'm not the type to judge who's right and who's wrong. you made a mistake and what's happening right now, is his mistake, too. you're not the only one at fault, for sure!"

"i really can't blame him for anything, though! i can't even blame him for the tears i cry every night. because i've told myself that jean would never make me cry. i'm the one doing it"

historia turned her head to the side, shaking her head slightly.

"you know what doesn't make sense to me? like, at all?"

"what, y/n?"

"the whole he likes me, he likes me not thing. it makes zero sense! but, you can't possibly tell me he never felt something"

"i can't say that! it won't make sense because of his actions"

"exactly! the only thing that makes sense to me, is that he knew i liked him so he gave me false hope!"

"but, i'm sure jean isn't like that" y/n said, looking at historia.

the girl nodded her head, as she stared straight ahead. y/n sighed, before looking at the road in front of her.

'i guess i have to just... let this go'

☄. *. ⋆