𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬 / 𝐣. 𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐧

³⁴!!

☄. *. ⋆

| 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 ³⁴: 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍' 𝐘𝐎𝐔 |

y/n's friendship with jean was restored after that one night at his house.

also, her friendship with mikasa was back to normal, too.

the two girls never fought; the friend group that they used to be in, just left mostly y/n out. historia left it, too, and sasha never really felt part of it.

for the past weeks, y/n was mostly outside; either going out with her friends, or hanging out at jean's house.

it was another day she was getting ready to do the latter. his mother was sick, so they'd, instead, hang out at his grandma's house; since she was away on vacation.

y/n's family was on vacation, too, so that left her alone in the house· and, in general. also, that meant she'd be able to return whatever time she wanted.

she was wearing a blue top with straps and some black pants, and she knew even with so little on, she'd get too hot. and this was the only reason she hated summer.

that afternoon, y/n met jean's friend; connie. he wasn't really talking much, and it felt like he wasn't even in the room. well, not that she really cared. she was there mostly for jean.

his eyes were always on her no matter what she was doing. it didn't matter if she was just sitting and doing nothing. or if she was drinking vodka. or if she was smoking from an electronic cigarette he gave her. his eyes were always on her.

y/n was, yet again, taking videos of everything- because she wanted to look back and remember all those moments.

and jean was, yet again, getting closer to her and her phone- trying to take it from her because he wanted to reach her.

once he did, he pulled her towards him, making her sit on his lap. she looked at him, noticing the smile on his face. his hand tightened around her waist, making her heart rate pick up.

he placed his electronic cigarette against her lips, watching her wrap them around it before taking a hit.

"connie is using the one i brought out for you, so, smoke from mine" he said, loud enough for only her to hear.

she nodded her head, before resting it on his shoulder.

"do you want me to bring you some water?"

"not now" she softly said, holding onto his hand.

y/n knew drinking plain vodka without ice or juice wasn't gonna be good. and she cursed herself she allowed herself to get drunk, after everything that had happened.

she didn't even know what time it was when jean shook her awake. she, apparently, had fallen asleep on the armchair next to his.

"let's get you to the bathroom" he said, helping her up.

he opened the door for her and kneeled next to her, as she held her hair back.

"try to vomit, okay?"

"i can't do that"

"use your fingers. like you did last time"

she sighed, blinking back tears, before whispering;

"can i be alone?"

"of course! i'll be right outside if you need me" he said softly, before leaving her alone in the bathroom.

no matter how much y/n tried, she couldn't get herself to vomit. tears were streaming down her cheeks as she washed her hands- looking at her reflection in the small mirror.

'why this again...?'

she wiped the tears off her face and opened the door, finding jean outside. like last time.

"i couldn't do it"

"it's okay" he said, going to her side.

he picked her up bridal style and walked inside a bedroom, closing the door behind him. he laid her on the bed and removed her shoes, before sitting close to her.

"try to get some sleep"

he moved some strands of hair from her face, his fingers lingering on her skin.

"where are you going?"

"i'm gonna bring you some water! i'll be right back"

y/n laid there with a huge headache and unable to sleep. she was just staring at the door, waiting for jean to come back.

when he walked in, he left the water bottle on the bed, before picking her up. he sat on the bed with her in his arms, as he helped her drink water, before laying her head on a pillow.

the door opened and mikasa walked in, before sitting close to her on the bed. yet, neither jean or y/n looked at her. they were stuck looking at each other.

"just make out already" the girl said, before leaving them alone.

"don't move your head around too much. your headache will never go down"

"jean"

"yes?"

"are you gonna stop talking to me after this?"

"no"

"then why did you do it back then?"

"i was just going through a lot of things"

"are you mad at me?" she asked, making his eyes slightly widen.

"i am. because you don't do any good to yourself with all this"

"you do that stuff, too"

"it's better if you stop doing those" he said, completely ignoring what she said.

"why should i stop, when you're not even gonna consider doing it, too?" she asked, placing a hand on his cheek.

and that's when y/n saw his mask slowly break. she could see the tears make their way to his eyes and the way he tried to hold everything back.

she didn't want to pressure him to tell her anything, if he wasn't comfortable. and she didn't really have to. jean opened up to her, while she caressed his cheeks gently, and while his hands were in her hair.

his tears were falling on her face and his words echoed in her head. once he calmed down, their eyes locked and they softly smiled at each other.

y/n knew jean needed to get things out of his chest. feelings that were bottled up and never shown, made their appearance in front of her. and she swore she'd take them to her grave.

jean's face was more relaxed while he was staring at her. he started moving closer to her, his eyes looking at her lips for a brief second, before slightly pulling away;

"i don't want to take advantage of you in this state and do something i want, when i know you probably won't remember it"

☄. *. ⋆