The Light That Shines From Above

Chapter 15

Thanks to Ikzo's time keeping skills I knew that 192 starpasses have happened since out breakfast talk on the others meaning that was two days.

And now I was faced with a bigger problem.

I couldn't convince myself to not like him. I knew I already enjoyed his presence. But I was still stuck on not letting it become more than that. It was hard. Harder now than before with how he was. The more I relaxed around him the more I discovered things I liked about him.

I hadn't been here that long, a few weeks maybe. I couldn't be sure on the time. Even so I knew I shouldn't be fighting myself like this. I shouldn't find him attractive in any way. It was something I just noted at first but now with knowing him more it complicated things. Nothing was big, the want to feel that way was small, crushable. I would continue to shove the tiny thing down until I left. Then when I was officially rid of his presence I could focus on helping my mother and I. All I had to do was fight the want to like him as more for just a few more days.

This time he didn't show up for breakfast and I was almost relieved. Almost.

Ikzo was the only person I talked to here. It made the meal a little boring not to have anyone to speak to. However this small break was good for me. I was able to keep the source of my dilemma physically away from me.

I kept my head down as I ate, not glancing up as the others came in and out of the room. They didn't bother me anymore, nor did their appearances startle me. Luckily after Ikzo spoke to that man he hasn't approached me again. None of them have. It saved me an awkward conversation.

This was another complication though. They're appearances didn't affect me anymore. I truly believed my fear of them resided in the way the others acted. And of course I wasn't used to anyone looking like anything but human. That wasn't the entire complication though, no the entire thing was that it applied to Ikzo too.

I always thought if he didn't look human I would retreat. That I wouldn't like to be in his company anymore. I didn't think that was true anymore. He had proved he was really a good person, alien, Occollan, whatever. It was more than his appearance that I enjoyed now.

No. I stopped myself, squash this. You cannot like him more than a friend. It's not happening. You're going home and he's an alien.

I took a swig of water like that would help wash away the thoughts. This was bad.

What is wrong with me? I thought, Old me—the one that didn't believe in aliens—would have thrown me in a psych ward.

I took my time finishing my meal then went back to my room. Again I wasn't tempted to open the window but I did wonder what the view was from my room. A million stars probably.

I spent a lot of time thinking again before I made myself do something else. If I thought too much I would return crazier than my mother.

I sat on my bed, using the small dry towel from my bathroom I made different shapes with it. I remember seeing things like this on the internet. It was stuff housekeepers did or bed and breakfasts, sometimes mothers did them to bring joy to their kids. It was silly but kept me busy.

I made a sting ray then swan. The elephant was hard so laid it flat and tried others. After ten more animals I discovered the sea creatures tended to be easier so I went through I list in my mind.

As I folded I thought back to the forest. Spooks was in there somewhere. I should ask to go back before I left. The small animal, though freaked out by me at first, had warmed me up to the idea of being there more than I could have done on my own. It was like being in a crowded mall, one where everyone was rushing around. You would feel dazed and want to leave, then you see a puppy in a store. If you were able to love on it you would feel better. It was a comfort thing.