Controlled Love [Larry Stylinson] (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 21

I'm back!! My trip was cut short so here you go lovelies

The song is perfect to use to show how much Louis and Harry mean to each other:)

Love you:) <3

Louis POV

When I woke up the next day Harry was still asleep by the time I had woken. He had cried all night last night till he fell asleep. I've never seen a grown man, especially such a man like himself, cry for hours like a little child.

Something is terribly wrong with him and I want to find out. I slip out from underneath Harry and make sure not to wake him. Once I free myself, I slip into my boxers and put the jumper from last night on. I make my way downstairs to make some tea and toast for Harry.

I'm kind of dreading him waking up because I don't know what I could say to him after last night. But knowing Harry he'll probably make as if nothing happened, and I'm sure as hell not going to just forget about it. I need answers. Answers to where he disappeared to and why he came over last night.

When the tea is made, I grab a tub of jam and take the bread out of the toaster and some butter out the fridge. I put them on a tray and carefully walk back into my room. When I enter, I see Harry sitting up, staring into nothing. He looks up at me when he notices me entering and I watch his neutral expression as I hand him the tray wordlessly. "Thank you." He says and I smile and turn to leave the room.

"Wait." He says and I turn to him. He pats the spot next to him and I pad over the the side and sit on the bed. He surprises me by grabbing me by the neck and planting a soft,gentle kiss to my lips,yet so many emotions are felt during it.

Sadly he pulls away and stares into my blue eyes. I search his eyes, for the words I wish he'd say. He then grabs a piece of toast and offers it to me. I tentatively take a bite and he hums in approval. He then takes a bite as well and I watch as his jaw clenches and un-clenches every time he chews.

"Thank you." He says again once he's done. The air around us feels thick with the unsaid words between us. "Last night..." he starts, breaking the silence and I smile sadly for my broken man. I cup his face and make him look at me. "What ever happened last night, obviously something is affecting you. You haven't called me or texted me for a week. I don't know where I stand with you but I do know that the week I haven't heard from you was the worst week of my life." I say tearing up.

"You mean a great deal to me. Did you know that? I know I'm nothing more than a submissive to you and I agreed to be just that. Your submissive. Do I regret it? No I don't. Why? Because every moment we were together meant something to me. Even our worst moment together meant something to me. Because after what happened, I realized I could never leave you."

"That's how much you mean to me. And seeing you so broken and hurt last night, hurt me too. You're always putting up this facade as some big, serious business man with all his macho-ness, but last night I saw the vulnerable side to you. A side of you I never thought I'd see. And I want to know what caused that meltdown last night. I know it'll be hard for you to tell me but I need to know Harry." I say looking in to his eyes.

He sighs deeply and grabs my hands that cupped his face into his."This is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. But you mean so much to me too. You have no idea how miserable I've been this past week. I'm fucked up Louis. Last night was evidence to how truly fucked I am." he says and my heart hurts for him. "Tell me, let me in. Make me understand the reason for your fucked-upness. Let me in." I say and he closes his eyes taking a deep breath.

"Okay." He whispers and I sigh in relief, holding his hands in mine. "When I was  11, my mum and divorced." He says taking a deep breath. "My mum didn't take it well. She started drinking, then she.. she use to beat me and my sister who was 8 at the time." He says and I have to fight back the tears as he continues.

"She brought one of her nightly fucks home, I knew he was trouble the moment I met him. I just wanted to get away from him so I went to bed. Now I wish I hadn't. After they did their business I eventually fell asleep. But I woke up to the screams and pleas of my sister." He says wiping a tear away.

"He was on top of her. I tried fighting him off her but it didn't do anything. He took away her innocence that night and I did nothing about it. I blame myself for not doing anything to help her and I've been living with that guilt."

"I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and have never looked back. I couldn't stand to look at my mother or my sister after that night. My mother got sober but what good did that do? The damage was already done. I'm plagued by nightmares every night of that day. I woke up one day and couldn't stop thinking about my sister."

"I scrolled through my phone after I woke up and saw my sister's number. I dialed it and she answered. I couldn't believe after so many years she kept the same number. We set up to meet the next day at a cafe. When I laid my eyes on her I couldn't believe how happy she looked, She glowed that day. Like what happened to her never did. She moved on and now she's living in London with her boyfriend. And she has a daughter. I have a niece Lou, and she is so beautiful.'

"What struck me the most was the fact that after all the shit she went through she managed to live a happy, normal life. She has let go off the past and left it as her past. And I couldn't. Part of me still can't."

"You want to know why I ignored you? Because I'm scared. I'm terrified that you're going to be the one to break down these walls I built. You make me feel things I promised to never again. That night of the party at your house, you told me something that scared the hell out of me. Do you remember what you said?" he asks and I furrow my eyebrows and shake my head.

"You said you loved me. And when you did, the first thing I thought to do was flee. How could you ever love me? Then I left the next day and couldn't bring myself to call you or leave a note or something because you loving me scares me."

"Ever since you came into my life you've made it better. Last night, last night meant so much to me. Wanna know why?" He asks as I wipe at my tears. He smiles at me and cups my wet cheeks.

"Because I realized I loved you too."

Oh my God I'm such a sap:( It might seem like the story will be coming to an end soon but nope.... I got a few tricks up my sleeve *Laughs maniacally* Kind of short but what had to be said was said

VOTE

COMMENT PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK WHETHER ITS GOOD OR BAD, HAPPY OR SAD :D