Protection

Serious talks

AMBERS POV

We climb into Erin's car after saying bye to the police officer who was sat at the desk, who I now know as Trudy. We drive to a different house to the one we were at a few days ago when Erin picked me up from school. We walk in and Erin shows me to her bedroom that I'm supposed to be staying in whilst she sorts out my room at her house. She sits down on the bed and pats part of the bed next to her. I sit next to her, my legs swinging slightly because I can't reach the floor. I drum my fingers against my legs but Erin stops my hands moving so I rest my leg on the bed frame and bounce it. "Amber?" I look up at her and pick at my fingers my leg still bouncing and Erin notices this as well. "This isn't what I want to talk to you about, but have you ever been tested for ADHD?" I look at her puzzled. "No. I don't think so. What is it?" She nods. "We'll wait for Hank to get home to talk about that but it's Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. The thing that I did want to talk to you about is what happened yesterday." I instantly stop shaking my leg and look at her. "W-what about yesterday?" "About what you did to yourself." I look down. "Oh...That...Look it's not as bad as it looks Erin. I promise. I'm okay..." She takes my hand to stop me fidgeting. "From what I've seen, you aren't okay honey. And that's okay. With everything that you've gone through, it's okay for you to not be okay. Nobody expects you to be." I look back at her to talk to her. "But they do. I have to be okay. I'm the one that people go to if they need somebody to talk too. I have to be okay otherwise nobody else will talk to me then they won't be okay. I have to be okay Erin." She hugs me and I feel tears beginning to blur up my eyes. I wipe them away and then pull away from Erin's hug. "How long have you been doing it?" "Doing what? Being peoples therapists or doing... that?" She looks at me with sympathy. "How long have you been hurting yourself?" I look down. I was ashamed of my answer. "It's been happening since I was 10 so 5 years now..." Tears start to roll down my cheeks but I wipe them away trying to hide my emotions. Erin takes my hands so I can't wipe away the tears. They roll down my face as I can't wipe them away. "See this. These tears that you're crying. These are okay. You hear me. It's okay for you to have emotions." I nod my head and Erin lets go of my hands so I wipe my face. She gives me a hug then we head out to the kitchen. "What do you want for lunch honey?" "I'm not hungry at the moment..." She gives me a stern look. "You need to eat Amber. You didn't eat too much for breakfast so I want you to eat some lunch please." I look down. "I'm still full from breakfast Erin. I don't eat much. Most of the time I don't even eat a meal cause I can still be full from breakfast the day before." "Well I can tell you now that that's going to change now you're living with me." I look down. I already know I'm going to struggle with all of Erin's rules. "Can I just have a banana then please?" She looks disappointed but still hands me a banana. "We'll talk about this with Voight as well. Come on let's go watch a movie. What's your favourite movie?" I start picking at my fingers before I answer. "It's Harry Potter but if you don't like that it's okay..." Erin has a massive smile on her face. "That's my favourite movie as well! We'll have to do a movie marathon tonight when I've sorted out your room." I smile and nod at the idea. "Do I really have to stay here though? I mean like I said back at the precinct, I can help you with it." She shakes her head. "Doctor Manning told you to take it easy so that's what you're going to do." I roll my eyes and head back into Erin's room, take my shoes off and lay on the bed. I stay there for a good five minutes in silence until it was broken by a door opening and closing and two people talking to one another. A few minutes later, Erin and Voight walk into the room to find me with my head pressed into my hands. I was trying to stop the tears. No matter what Erin said, I do not show emotion in front of men. Voight walks over to the bed and sat down but I instantly push myself off the bed. I walk to the wall right next to the door and slide down it putting my head back in my hands. "Amber? What's wrong?" I don't respond. Erin walks over to me and pulls my hands away from my face. "What's up honey?" I try to pull my hands back to my face but Erin doesn't let me. "Please let go of me Erin..." She doesn't let go so I try to pull my arms away again. She tightens her grip slightly and I start to become frantic. I keep tugging my arms, desperate to get away but I couldn't. I kick out at Erin's legs and it shocks her so she finally let go of me. I get up and make a dash out of her room and to the front door. I pull on it but it won't open. I keep pulling until Voight and Erin come out to the hallway at the front door. "I put a lock on it that will only open with a key Amber. You can't get out without it. Come sit down please. We want to talk to you." I won't give up. I keep pulling at the door but it won't work. He's right. I can't get out.